Quotes from CBS Anchor Dan Rather on Election Night 2004
“Do you hear that knocking...President Bush’s re-election is at the door.”
“This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex.”
“His lead is as thin as turnip soup.”
“This race is humming along like Ray Charles.”
“The presidential race is swinging like Count Basie.”
“This race is hotter than the Devil’s anvil.”
“Ohio becomes like a sauna for the two candidates. All they can do is wait and sweat.”
“One’s reminded of that old saying, ‘Don’t taunt the alligator until after you’ve crossed the creek.’”
“This situation in Ohio would give an aspirin a headache.’’
“Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field.”
“What Kerry needs at this point is the equivalent of Tom Brady coming off the bench to rescue him. But it’s still too close to call.”
“No question now that Kerry’s rapidly reaching the point where he’s got his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire and the bill collector’s at the door.”
“John Kerry needs something on the order of a 55 or 60-yard field goal to win this.”
All of which goes to show that one should not try to be witty unless one is in fact witty.