Reconstruction was not as pretty and neat as the word sounds. Additionally, Southerners have been told to "Get over it!" ever since. Now, there is certainly some truth and wisdom in that advice but folks also need to realize that you can't white-wash history and expect everyone to agree and be happy about it.
If you think it makes you angry to hear people castigate Pres. Lincoln...trying hearing someone tell you that your ancestors are anti-American traitors and don't deserve any honor or respect in their Confederate graveyards.
I have no interest in refighting the Civil War, but I would like to stop hearing "get over it...you guys lost!" and actually have that discussion. Like you, I've done some studying and research in my free time. I even found out that one of my great-grandfathers and one of my husband's great-grandfathers down the line both fought in the same battle together at Missionary Ridge, TN. My grandfather was killed in action, but my husband's grandfather was captured as a POW and marched, shipped to a horrible little hellhole of a prison in Illinois.
What saddens me is we all know the story of Andersonville. But the murder, torture and deliberate starvation and exposure to disease that took place in the Union prisons is almost unknown. :( But meh...just "get over it, right?" We'll make a Hollywood movie about Andersonville!! That's my gripe.
I don't know much about Reconstruction (although I should), but according to what I know and surmise, it was bad, and it did more to promote justified resentment towards the North, than anything else post war. It achieved results so far off the mark from what it was originally intended to accomplish. I have to read more about this.
Those who tell Southerners to "Get over it," many times are not sufficiently informed about this period of American history, and its aftermath. I also suspect that they feel far enough removed so that they would find it difficult to put themselves in the shoes of the men who fought (and their families), as well as their decendants. IMO, education would be very helpful in this regard. And some people are just plain damn insensitive.
If you think it makes you angry to hear people castigate Pres. Lincoln...trying hearing someone tell you that your ancestors are anti-American traitors and don't deserve any honor or respect in their Confederate graveyards.
We all know how ignorant people will shoot off their mouths, although their ignorance doesn't get them off the hook by any means. I'm sorry you heard this, and I understand the slap in your face that it had to have been. May they all, both North and South, through God's Mercy, rest in dignity and peace.
I have no interest in refighting the Civil War, but I would like to stop hearing "get over it...you guys lost!" and actually have that discussion.
I agree, and I appreciate your honesty and sincerity.
BTW, I'm glad you were able to uncover that info about the great grandfathers. At one point I tried to see if one of my great grandfathers was in the war, but I couldn't find anything. I can't find any documentation about that line until a ship's passenger list around 1915.
Anyway, Andersonville was hideous, but I'm aware that there were Union prisons not much better. I'm also aware that there were good and bad persons on either side who made a battlefield or a prison more humane or vastly less so.
But I understand that it's the attitudes you're protesting. The cavalier attitude of "Get over it," and the attitude that portrays Southerners generally as a brutal/sadistic people, etc.
You've probably been subjected to these things for years, and you certainly are justified in your reaction. In no way do I want to be condescending, and I hope I don't come across that way. Thanks for sharing your perspective with me. :-)