In every case, ( without a single exception), the parents said the problems started in government middle school with the friends that the child had met in school. In a very few cases the friends were not only schoolmates but also members of the same congregation.
I have never had a family in the office with a homeschooler that has made poor choices, if the child was homeschooled from the beginning. I have had parents in the office who have had children with behavior problems who have attempted homeschooling in the middle and high school years, and this did not work out well.
Anyway....I don't think we can always blame the parents. If this was the case, then why aren't all the kids delinquent? I have known far, far, far too many families where all but one of the children are doing wonderfully well and one is a mess. It's can't be the parents. Personally, I blame the social environment of the government schools.
Not being any kind of expert on child-rearing as I don’t have any...
I believe that the outcome of a child’s upbringing is ultimately the sum of the influences exerted upon him/her. Vague, polyanna generic statement, I acknowledge.
I agree with you that exposure to anti-achievement types in junior high and high school years can be a tipping factor, and the same can be said vis a vis achievers.
As the youngest of three boys, the other two of which went to get PHd’s and I who never finished college....though I respect your experience-based opinion, I also believe that deep inside is a simple switch that gets thrown one way or another. If that switch happens to be thrown “anti”, for whatever reason, then astounding amounts of positive reinforcement or influence will probably have little effect. And vice versa, we’ve all heard of cases where kids from abysmal circumstances sometimes achive wonderfully despite all they may go through.
I think what would have helped me would have been mentoring. Though I had every positive influence imaginable around me and got top-of-class grades in elementary and high shools, my switch was thrown to “freedom” and nothing could flip it. What I lacked was mentoring. I had examples aplenty, but no mentoring at all. Others might well be different. My Dad was a great example, but very, very stoic. He was a poor mentor.
I don’t think there is one answer for all. We have a lot of observational tools these days vs what was available in the 30’s, 50’s, and 70’s.