Disclaimer, I'm no guru, just an old guy who has seen some things and had some experiences.
I like things simple and that's a plus because it also usually means relatively inexpensive. But the budget numbers you put in the OP means you're gonna have to prioritize - because you want "home defense" and an easy to use and concealable handgun. IMO to meet those demands you need at minimum two pieces. With careful shopping you might be able to get both but it would surely be a challenge.
Your budget could afford a nice Mossberg 12Ga. pump gun new or an even better used one and that's a good choice for home defense plus some other purposes (you've read plenty about that by now I'm sure). Buckshot is often less than lethal but it's still almost always a good stopper.
For the handgun I think everyone should start with and always have a revolver of some kind. You'll have to decide the features you want and I wouldn't be afraid of any Ruger, S&W, or Taurus that came in the configuration you wanted. There should be lots of good used choices in your price range. I'd stick with something less than 25-30 years old to be sure it had the latest in safety features or, if an older model, research the model before purchase for correctable or uncorrectable deficiencies. With proper care (which is not at all difficult) a good revolver can give trouble free service for generations.
If you want to also use a revolver for defense inside the home, remember any magnum caliber will easily penetrate your walls and your neighbors. I personally knew a cop (and I have to believe ex-cop by now) and his neighbors who know about that first hand. When you come inside, reload with whichever non-mag caliber is appropriate for the piece.
And buy lots of ammo and have fun!
Hubby bought two Kimber Raptors, one 3” and one 4” for us. Both guns jammed and stove-piped from time to time until we noticed that his never jammed for me, and mine never jammed for him. We switched and have been happy shooters ever since.
Consider it for your wife... a mid-frame would be about right. It is still big enough for your hand (for now), but small enough for her...
But the next one (for you) oughta be a .45 revolver...
Revolver beats clip-fed semi-auto in that it doesn't jamb, and always goes bang.
As for where to get ammo, you can research vendors online and find bargains; Walmart is usually a good source for basic calibers.
But my recommendation is that you find 2 or 3 local gunshops and buy your ammo from them.
1. They can use the business, and the money stays in your local community
2. They are experts in the field and a great source of information
3. They can help with identifying good local ranges and instructors
4. You will almost certainly meet several people who share your new found passion whenever you stop by - great place to make new friends
5. Most shops also do repairs or modifications, should that be necessary
Another poster here said expect to pay as much as ammunition as for your firearm. I think that is a low estimate. At $20/box, that is 25 boxes of ammo for a %500 firearm. If you and your wife go to the range 1/week as you're learning and you each shoot a box, that's three months.
In today's era of economic and political uncertainty, think BLOAT - Buy Lots Of Ammo Today. One gun with ammo is a lot more useful than two without. Since we live under the vagaries of federal/state laws, buy what you can while you can. If everything gets sorted out properly, you can always use it for practice; if the SHTF, you can use it or trade it for other things (its value will go up in almost any SHTF scenario).
And to repeat, spend time educating yourself BEFORE buying; practice as much as possible with rentals or a buddy's firearm until you are relatively comfortable and confident; take a gun safety course (with your wife); and memorize the rules of safe gun handling, especially treating every gun as if it were loaded. When you do finally select a firearm for whatever purpose, practice, practice, practice until handling, firing, and cleaning it are second-nature.
Lastly, glad you are stepping up to take responsibility for the safety of you and your family. There are a world of knowledgeable people here on FR, all willing/able to help or answer questions. If you have questions, PM anyone who has replied to your thread, and you'll likely find a good answer and make a new friend (don't forget to check profiles to find shooters near you)
One other thought - this is the umpteenth “first gun” thread on FR; take a moment today and search out the earlier threads for additional comments and suggestions.
The best one you can afford.
I love these threads.
First of all, THANK YOU to everyone who took the time to offer advice, I’m grateful.
Second, I’m figuring out that I’m really grateful there is a range in eyesight of my work. I didn’t even realize they would have guns to rent!
Third, my game plan seems to be: Go rent and shoot guns, go to a gun show and handle different guns, find a good local gun shop, be willing to increase my budget, buy a shotgun for the home first then worry about my CCW second, and practice as often as I can (and the wife too).
I’ll come back to reference these posts often and again, thank you!!
Whatever you choose, buy ammo. Lots of it. And availability may(should) influence what you buy.
This is only imo, but a nice .38 snub nose revolver or a 9mm would be great for ‘in home’ protection. You can graduate to rifles once familiar with the pistol. Go to the range to practice.....a shotgun is also a great model if you want to be sure to hit an intruder without really having to take ‘aim’. Get a higher gauge shot gun, so the ‘kick’ is less. Like I said this is my opinion only.