Replies

Check out the second verse of my little parody:

Sung to the tune of “If I Only Had a Brain”)

People swoon when I have spoken.
I’m much more than a token,
I’m clean and articulate, too.
I’ll look tall and trim and dapper
as I lead you down the crapper
If you only had a clue.

Oh, the media had folks thinkin’
I’d be another Lincoln-
What awesome things I’d do!
But these days the press is squirmin’
‘cause I’m more like Pee Wee Herman.
If you only had a clue.

Capitalism’s what I’m hatin’
and I’m sick and tired of waitin’
for it’s heyday to be through.
So I’ll take my team of wankers
and I’ll sic ‘em on the bankers
If you only had a clue.

Reverend Wright’s the guy I follow,
my denials all were hollow-
Not a single one was true.
I act serious and wonk-y
as I stick it to the honkies
If you only had a clue.

I think Islam’s fine and dandy-
My election came in handy
for Iran—and Syria, too.
Now their muscles they’ll be flexin’
‘cause you voted by complexion
If you only had a clue.

Oh, Michelle’s a chic trendsetter-
She clearly is your better.
A Princeton graduate, too.
But you crackers best not test her-
‘cause she morphs into Aunt Esther!
If you only had a clue

I put a garden in my backyard,
And made fun of some retards,
and picked my Final Four, too.
Dee-doo-de-doo-de-doo-doo
I‘m on 60 Minutes laughin’
as the economy is crashin’
If you only had a clue.

Now I’m fixin’ and I’m changin’,
And busy re-arrangin’.
I have no need for you.
If you whine that I’m appalling
I’ll have ACORN come a ‘calling
If you only had a clue.

I’ve no intent of stoppin’
I’m gonna keep you hoppin’-
My reign you’re going to rue
You’ll be wishin’ I was Carter!
You’ll be wishin’ you’d been smarter!
If you only had a clue.

On Top Is Old Tokey

On Top Is Old Tokey
A known user of snow
And we’ve lost our republic
Cause the voters are slow

A votin’s a pleasure
Oft endin’ in grief
Cause a false hearted potus
Is worse than a thief

For a thief will just rob you
And take what you’ve saved
But a false hearted potus
Will make you a slave

Slavery will destroy you
And you will go bust
There ain’t a Muslim in twenty
A poor voter can trust

He’ll use and abuse you
And tell you more lies
Than crossties on the railroads
Or stars in the skies

Let’s throw out old Tokey
Old Tokey so high
So the birds in the heavens
Won’t hear our sad cries

On top is old Tokey
Well acquainted with blow
And we’ve lost our republic
Cause the voters are slow

Cause the voters are slow

Apologies to the memory of Red Foley