“Why....she was so ugly, the doctor slapped her mother....
She was soooooo ugly, that the doctor held her up by her wrists and slapped her face to get her to cry....”
(bah dum bah..)
Lynn Stewart is so ugly,
when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”
they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
if ugly were bricks she’d have her own projects.
they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
she made an onion cry.
when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Ted Dansen wouldn’t date her!
she turned Medusa to stone!
The NHL banned her for life
she manages to give Freddy Kreuger Nightmares!
her shadow ran away from her!
I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a pay check!
Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant!
when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming!
Hey, but seriously, folks I’ve found the perfect weight loss system, I’ll put her picture on my refridgerator door.