In the first stage, the North Koreans raise tensions, creating the impression they were going to do something really dangerous. They launch missiles, test nuclear devices and engage in ultra-bellicose rhetoric. Once tensions are sufficiently high, and neighboring countries feel uneasy enough, leaders in Pyongyang move to the next stage: they make a few goodwill gestures and hint at the possibility of a negotiated settlement. The world signs with relief and agrees to negotiations.
In the process of negotiations, Pyongyang extracts aid which comes, essentially, as a reward for North Korea's willingness to restore the status quo which existed before the crisis they themselves manufactured.
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Korea/KK12Dg01.html
We are not there yet.