[Mouton]

Crank up reruns of the old Fulton Sheen TV programs and put them on continuous play. Bring in a few pigs to waddle around the room. Pork chops for breakfast, Pork ribs for lunch and pork sausage for dinner. Make sure the prayer rug is infested with chiggers. Wish him a speedy recovery and leave a massive dose of Potasium cloride on his night stand in case he feels the urge.

[a fool in paradise]

R. Lee Ermey DID serve in the military as a U.S. Marine Corps drill instructor. Can we bring him in to conduct the questioning?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?!!!"