I empathize with how you feel. Myself, I feel like “They” just did some elaborate Psy Op on the U.S. population, creating enormous stress & cognitive dissonance. It’s like this was purposefully down with full intent and full knowledge that they were lying to the public.
"...when in a war, foreign or intestine, the enemies get a final victory, so as, the forces of the Commonwealth keeping the field no longer, there is no further protection of subjects in their loyalty, then is the Commonwealth dissolved, and every man at liberty to protect himself by such courses as his own discretion shall suggest unto him."Thomas Hobbes - Leviathan, 1651