Examples of LDS 'Doublespeak' & 'Mormonese definitions of biblical terms':
10. "Little kids are perfect until age 8. That's why we baptize them at that age...for the remission of sins...that, uh, the sins they, uh, don't have."
9. "Adam & Eve disobeyed God & brought sin into the world. So we celebrate that...as a, you know, as a sort of 'upward fall'...'Cause that brought us parenthood, mortality & potential godhood for us. (Sin pays)"
8. "Your Christian gospel isn't fair. With our Mormon proxy baptism for the dead, people get a second after-life chance...our Mormon gospel IS fair...uh, so long, uh, as we find the birth certificate of, you know, every cave dweller and illiterate peasants from pre-existant, pre-published times."
7. "We don't believe in earthly polygamy, anymore...well, at least, you know, not until jesus returns...at least so says Brother Bruce R. McConkie."
6. "We ex-communicate polygamists. Uh, except for Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Heber C. Kimball, Parley P. Pratt, and others -- including Jesus Christ, who some of our founding apostles said was also a polygamist. (And they're STILL practicing polygamy in the great beyond."
5. "We have a living prophet; pay attention to us 'cause we're the only church that believes in continuing revelation. Uh, except pay no attention to those quotes of our prophets cited by FReeper Inmans! Our 'living prophets' weren't continually 'revelating' when they said those Inman-cited things from the tabernacle."
4. "Christians are apostates. Oh, and we're Christian, too!"
3. "Christians are apostates. (That's why 53% of our Lds hymnal -- 190 of them -- were hymns inspired by those 'apostates'!)"
2. "We are not polytheist. There's only one god. Well, just a lot of 'only one gods.'" [Ejonesie's submission]
1. "Oh, man can become one [a god] too -- just like jesus the son and god himself did at one point. (But there is only one god)." [Ejonesie's submission & personal fave]
It makes my brain hurt...