tioga
“There is a better way. For 2 1/2 years I took care of my mother in my home. The last year she was incontinent. I didn’t waiver, my family supported me and she died here at our home. I have no regrets. None. If I can do it anyone can.”
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2363955/posts?page=56#56
brytlea
“...If ever faced with that, I will do my darnedest to care for my husband at home. I realize sometimes it’s simply not possible.”
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2363955/posts?page=61#61
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bttt to what you three wrote.
If health insurance would make it easier for a family to pay for caregivers without the battery of Activities of Daily Living there’d be fewer sent to the nursing homes, meaning that nursing homes would have to compete for ‘residents’. Ergo, conditions should improve.
To any others reading this post or the posts of ~Kim4VRWC’s~ brytlea or tioga:
If you have NOT visited a nursing home in your area, I recommend it highly.
If you have a close friend who has family member in a nursing home; offer to relieve them for a while and visit their family member. They may have to sign you up as a ‘close friend the family’ in order for you to gain access.
Do that for a few days or weeks.
First of all, you will be amazed at how quickly the staff will tune you out - even if you are observing - and taking mental notes.
Look around with an attentive eye as you blend in.
There will be four outcomes of your doing this:
1. your friend will really appreciate being spelled for a while;
2. the resident will appreciate the attention and care;
3. there will be a high probability that you will be stunned by the general lack of attention, attitude, the mechanical atmosphere, and general sanitary conditions;
4. and you will instruct your spouse or family to never ever put you in a nursing home if it can be avoided.
I have been in a few nursing homes, either visiting someone, or once I had a job offer (activity director). At the last one I was appalled at the place, and I didn’t take the job because I just couldn’t see myself going there daily (I went back to school instead and got a teaching certificate). At any rate, that particular nursing home was shut down about a year later for violations of all sorts.
But, you know I really do need to find something I can do to go into nursing homes and visit people. I live out here where there are likely a million of them, and I suspect for many of the people who live there, just having someone come in and visit/talk is a bright spot in their day.
I have a friend who is caring for her mother at home, but I go visit her and the other day we took her out to lunch (she’s mobile with a walker). I love her mom, she’s fun and she’s in her 90s so she tells the most interesting things!