You are off to a good start!
More of my monologue:
Sexual harrassment is a huge problem in workplaces all over the country. Believe me I know. All I wanted to do was have sex, and now people won’t leave me alone.
The truth is I wasn’t cheating. I was just getting my prostrate checked by the same person who replaces my coffee filters.
Before any rumors get started, I absolutely did not need Viagra to humiliate my spouse on national television.
You know the real victim here is my son. He’s doesn’t have any employees to molest.