[zeugma]

To be fair, the people who teach students how to play football are at least getting the job done.

I question the utility of teaching kids how to play football in an era when they can't even teach them how to read. These districts are building stadiums when they can't even supply students with books. 

They certainly have their priorities pretty whacked.

[HIDEK6]

If they taught reading and writing the same way they teach football, maybe the kids would learn.

Screw up and take a lap.

Come in last in a test and take a lap.

Succeed or fail, and there's no excuse for failure.