CLINTON ADMINISTRATION HAS REINVENTED COMMUNISM
December 5, 2000
Mr. Speaker, America’s trade deficit for September hit $35 billion for one month, $35 billion. America is heading for a $420 billion, 1-year trade deficit.
Unbelievable. If this continues, America will have a crash that will make 1929 look like a fender-bender.
What is even worse, China is now taking $100 billion of cash out of our economy, buying missiles, and pointing them at us.
Beam us up, all of us.
We must be stupid. Ronald Reagan almost destroyed Communism, and the Clinton administration has reinvented it, is now subsidizing it, and is now stabilizing it.
I yield back any common sense left and any patriotism left in this Congress.
AN AMERICA WITHOUT GOD IS AN AMERICA THE FOUNDERS NEVER INTENDED
October 11, 2000
Mr. Speaker, the United States Army in Europe has denied Catholic soldiers the right to hold mass in the base chapel. A spokesman said, and I quote, `The Army will not pay for the cost of a priest.’ He further said, `If we allow the Catholics in, we must allow all religions in.’
Now, if that is not enough to shred the Bible, the Army does allow and permits witchcraft and pagan ceremonies at the base. The spokesman said, and I quote, `The witchcraft groups pay for their own pagan ministers.’
Unbelievable. It is time to call in the dogs, throw the coffee grinds on the fire, the hunting is over. When the U.S. Army allows satan in one door and will not allow God in the other door, America is so screwed up we do not know where we are going.
Beam me up, here. I yield back the fact that an America without God is an America that the Founders never planned.
THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES
October 5, 2000
Broadway has announced a new play called `The Vagina Monologues.’ I quote, the promo states that `Vagina Monologues uses humor and drama to explore such things as sexual fantasies, orgasms, pelvic examinations and rape.’ Now if that is not enough to entice your condominium, this vaginal virtuoso is being billed as theater at its finest.
Unbelievable. What is next? Rectal Diaries? Men are dropping like flies in America from prostate cancer and Broadway is promoting vaginal titillation.
Beam me up. I advise all New York men to sleep on their stomachs, and I yield back all the STDs on the East Coast.
ACCIDENTAL HOSPITAL DEATHS ARE HIGHER THAN ACCIDENTAL GUN DEATHS
July 26, 2000
Mr. Speaker, accidental deaths caused by doctors and hospitals in America reached 120,000 per year. Meanwhile, gun deaths have dropped 35 percent. In fact, accidental gun deaths dropped to 1,500 last year.
Think about it. We have got hospitals slicing and dicing American people like Freddie Kruger, and Congress is passing more gun laws. Beam me up. There is something wrong in America when one is 80 times more likely to be killed by a doctor than Smith & Wesson. Think about it, 80 to 1. Maybe we need a gun in surgery.
I yield back the fact that the second amendment was not written to cover just duck hunters.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS RULES AT SUPREME COURT
June 20, 2000
The Supreme Court says pornography is okay and it is okay to burn the flag, that Communists can work in our defense plants, that it is okay to teach witchcraft in our schools and that it is okay for our students to write papers about the devil.
But the Supreme Court says it is illegal to write papers about Jesus, it is illegal to pray in school, and now the Supreme Court says it is even illegal to pray before a football game.
Beam me up. I thought the founders intended to create a Supreme Court, not the Supreme Being. Think about that statement.
I yield back a Supreme Court that is so politically correct they are downright stupid, so stupid they could throw themselves at the ground and miss.
PRAYER IN OUR SCHOOLS
March 29, 2000
Mr. Speaker, once again, the Supreme Court is considering a school prayer issue.
Beam me up. The founders are rolling over in their graves. The founders never intended to separate God from our schools; the founders simply intended to ensure that there would not be one, one State-sponsored religion, period. My colleagues know it, I know it, and the American people know it. The truth is, an America without prayer is an America without God, and a school without prayer is a school without God.
I yield back the utter stupidity of the America political system that continues to rationalize, debate, and deny the importance of God and why our founders placed it in our Constitution.
ONLY IN AMERICA, ONLY IN AMERICA
April 05, 2000
Mr. Speaker, today Congress will debate two bills. The first bill is partial birth abortions. The second bill is wildlife and sport fish restoration.
Unbelievable. Kill the babies but save the trout and the tit mouse. Beam me up. In fact, beam me up, Scotty.
See, I believe that Congress and America can and should save both the babies and the wildlife. Think about it.
I yield back an old street saying: Only in America, Mr. Speaker.
Jim Traficant is the King of the One Minute Speech!
Thanks for the walk down memory lane...he was always great.
Anybody know if his floor speeches were ever assembled and published in one volume?
Thanks for the memories cripplcreek. Really missed that man. One of the very few “honest” (speaking ;).. )Congressmen.