Is gay marriage the same as heterosexual marriage?
Well, if you ordered a $40 steak in a restaurant and they brought you a hamburger would you complain?
Hamburger is steak....just different.
However, we do not define the two as the same and we do not allow one to be substituted for the other.
But homosexual "marriage" is to marriage as a wax model of a hamburger is to a steak. Hamburgers and steaks, after all, are both edible.
Homosexual "marriage" is so unlike marriage that the same word cannot be used properly of both. I mean to say, if you want to talk about something you call "gay marriage", then you need a different word to name the union of a man and a woman.
We have got so used to equivocation these days that it gets mistaken for a substantive discussion.