The GOP leadership has an interest in making sure a bunch of their troops (or thats how they see them) don’t charge off a cliff to the amusement of their enemies.
And then there are the undecided voters who would take a poor view of the spectacle.
I’m sorry you seem to take your self-definition from the eyes of others. You have handed the power to define who you are and what you believe to those who wish nothing more than your political humiliation.