No matter what his experience is, it is his; it is not universal; not even universal among “gays”.
Not every boy/young man (majorities) with an absent, distant or abusive father, gets into same-sex intimate experience as a youth and becomes “gay” as an adult.
As real as those experiences were to him, they were not the totality of what “made” him gay; because majorities of males faced with the same parental experience do not become gay.
I feel for the young man and empathize with his early problems in life. My only point is that his parental problem should not be taken as a template for what “makes someone gay”.
Why do you wish not to acknowledge the fact that molestation and abuse do in many cases play a role in gender identity and homosexuality? Why such denial when there is so much evidence to the contrary?