I was in Fat City until that tragic canoe capsize last year whence all my bullion, guns, cash and ammo went to the bottom.
Woe is me! What shall I do now?
All of mine was stolen. No, there is no record of the theft because I didn’t report it to the police. Why? Because it was my (fill in with your most despised liberal relative) that stole it and I didn’t want to get him/her in trouble. What? Oh yes, he still lives at 100 Zombie Lane.