First Doctor: Get on parade! Come on! We haven't got all day, have we? Come on, come on, come on. (the patients painfully get themselves into line) Hurry up ... right! Now, I know some hospitals where you get the patients lying around in bed. Sleeping, resting, recuperating, convalescing. Well, that's not the way we do things here, right! No, you won't be loafing about in bed wasting the doctors' time. You - you horrible little cripple. What's the matter with you?
1st Patient: Fractured tibia, sergeant.
First Doctor: 'Fractured tibia, sergeant'? 'Fractured tibia, sergeant'? Ooh. Proper little mummy's boy, aren't we? Well, I'll tell you something, my fine friend, if you fracture a tibia here you keep quiet about it! Look at him! (looks more closely) He's broken both his arms and he don't go shouting about it, do he? No! 'Cos he's a man - he's a woman, you see, so don't come that broken tibia talk with me. Get on at the double. One, two, three, pick that crutch up, pick that crutch right up.
1st Patient: Aaargh!
First Doctor: Right, squad, 'shun! Squad, right turn. Squad, by the left, quick limp! Come on, pick 'em up. Get some air in those wounds.
Second Doctor: (to camera) Here at St Pooves, we believe in ART - Active Recuperation Techniques. We try to help the patient understand that however ill he may be, he can still fulfill a useful role in society. Sun lounge please, Mr Griffiths.