Posted on 06/30/2009 9:30:53 AM PDT by Maelstorm
Uh huh. And when you judge, be sure you know what you're talking about.
It’s not. I said it was implied, but I don’t agree with that implication. *shrug* I’ve done the travel with a single parent while some siblings stay with the other, most commonly to visit out-of-state family, but that’s irrelevant.
Like I said in my post the act of going on a trip is itself neutral; it would be other things that would color it one way or another.
Most families don't always do *everything* together, for obvious reasons. Take a nursing baby on a 2-week motorcycle trip? No way!
There's other ways to give deserved time to a child than such extended exclusive attention.
Two weeks, out of an entire life? Not a great deprivation for the rest of the family, imo, and a HUGE event (I assume) to the 18-year-old in question. Don't you think the mother and younger girls said, "Great! Y'all have a nice time!" and planned activities that they would enjoy together in the absence of the father and teenager? That's what I would do. Having the 18-year-old out of the house for a while could be as much a reward for the mother and siblings as the trip would be for the daughter!
Perhaps the other children will get two-week trips with their Dad when they're older. Usually some family members have an interest that others don't. I couldn't go on a motorcycle trip, if (hypothetically), my husband had decided to take our 18-year-old on such an excursion. (I swore a blood oath to OldTax-lady that I'd never ride a motorcycle. Long story.) And it's understood, at least in my family, that older children get to do some things younger ones don't. Bill (15) gets to go on trips for marathon races; James (5) doesn't. The younger children will have experiences the older ones didn't, including their own rooms and no babies in the house, at some point!
It's thoughtful of you to be concerned about everyone's feelings, but families have different levels of all-togetherness that suit them
To be honest, I think the people speculating about impropriety simply have filthy minds, and if I knew them, I'd try to do something to shock them on a regular basis, just for kicks.
Which is why the Gay Mafia is always after kids. It's a recruitment tool.
In this family, two are HS age and the other just short of it. Also, the younger two have made decidedly unhappy remarks to my wife about it. These are people who never go anywhere on vacation. But now when one becomes possible...
And now I'm getting into specifics far more than I intended. I know you're trying to paint reasons why this isn't that unusual, but for this family it was. And, being something I wouldn't do unless the family was involved (when I went camping with the kids, they all went), I thought it worth commenting on. Thanks for your input.
Well, it’s too bad there are hurt feelings involved, although that’s what happens with teenage girls. My oldest is 18 (in her 3rd week of Coast Guard basic training!), and she was a raging nightmare the last year. Three teenage girls? ARRRRRRGH! My other two daughters are 11 and 9, and they’re going with their father to Myrtle Beach to visit his mother next month, leaving me with the six boys - and I’m not hearing any complaints. Maybe I’ll let one of the boys sleep in the girls’ room while they’re gone.
Aside from these issues of personal family dynamics, in the very unlikely event that the man and teenager had any inappropriate relationship, it had to have been going on for years, not originated with what is actually an adult woman. That makes the trip irrelevant to that consideration.
I don’t think the media are giving it a pass - I think it just doesn’t grab as much view share as Michael Jackson etc. When profits alone are the driving force of your news media one shouldn’t expect principled journalism.
Oh, I have no doubt nothing like that occurred. It's just this this family's dynamics lends itself more to family vacations and outings. I see by your remarks you have a large family. That's great. Yet being large, it doesn't lend itself as well to entire family extended vacations unless you have the wherewithal. Not many families do. The one I speak of is sufficient in that regard for its size.
And I think that's where the hurt feelings came from. They seldom do things like that together. Then when something comes up, the mom and two daughters are left out. I don't believe the mom's feelings were hurt, but the daughter's sure were.
I guess I look at it from the standpoint that as a dad, I'm responsible for my entire family's nurturing. If I can do something for one, I can do it for all unless it's specifically intended for that one individual. And in this case, it wasn't as far as I can tell. And it's obvious the other siblings feel neglected. Not that they are, but the feeling is there.
But it's the other implication you brought up that the neighbors were tuned in to. And no, I see no way that's in the cards.
Oh, well...
I’m certain that isn’t the case. We are talking very little reporting on this at all. I did notice Fox finally picked it up today through the AP but the AP clearly edited it down to be meaningless. Well they will find the story eventually. I’m emailing media and churches on my own. I also have a list of more than 500 people I have yet to email it too. It may not make a difference but this is certainly worth fighting for.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529529,00.html?test=latestnews
fathers aren’t allowed to travel with their daughters?
Since when?
Never said that. Read my subsequent posts.
“To be honest, I think the people speculating about impropriety simply have filthy minds, and if I knew them, I’d try to do something to shock them on a regular basis, just for kicks”
I was thinking the same thing.
Of course it is. I didn’t mean to suggest that these sorts of things aren’t worth fighting for. I just think that we have a media that doesn’t fight for much of anything and won’t be interested in it. I don’t believe it’s bias so much as laziness, irresponsibility, etc. etc. .... Perhaps if the child had been molested by Michael Jackson it might be noticed more but otherwise it’s not gonna be picked up. By the time the media ditzes are willing to pay attention to this there will be something else new and shiny coming up on the horizon.
Well - my hubby has done this very thing and I wouldn’t describe him as naive or not caring about the other kids.
If it were a Conservative straight church going man of any stature it would’ve been news.
That may be, but if you read a later post, this fellow's other two children had their nose bent out of shape. Much of it depends on family dynamics, family history, family cohesiveness. And it was the neighbor's unseemly opinion that got me wondering (not about their misguided opinions) about whether this was a good idea for this dad...or not.
Because we’re homeschoolers, we’re able to go on vacations during others’ off-season. We’ve rented a lake house for a week in September, less than an hour from home, at a very nice rate; my parents-in-law may be able to join us. We’ve done some oceanside vacations on the same basis. The house cost is less than $1,000, and “survival” costs, food and so on, are no different from being at home. (More families should try this - declare an exposure to Mexican Flu if you have to!)
I think when the younger girls in the family you mention get their opportunity to travel with Dad, they’ll get over their envy of the older sister. As I said, teenage girls are Like That. My brother was in the Air Force when I went on most of my big trips with Dad, and Mom was happy to be rid of both of us! Dad has Alzheimers Disease now, and isn’t able to do many of things with his grandchildren that we had hoped he could, but on his next visit here, I plan to get out the pictures of our trip to the Big Bend to remind him. We made it rain there for the first time in a year!
I did some checking it was merely a gay friendly leftist commune. I’ll edit my blog post to fix that. They could have lots of fun with this story. I mean Nancy Grace can get outraged at anything.
Nancy Grace gets outraged by cloudy skies. You should have bigger goals than getting her riled up ;>
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