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GOP Offers ‘Michael Jackson’ Cap & Trade Alternative
Scrappleface ^ | 6/27/2009 | Scott Ott

Posted on 06/29/2009 5:27:49 AM PDT by Servant of the Cross

(2009-06-27) — Senate Republicans today introduced an “innovative alternative” to the 1,300-page cap-and-trade climate change bill which passed the House 219-212 virtually-unread Friday night as the nation sat transfixed by wall-to-wall coverage of the death of an iconic pop singer.

Supporters said the GOP-sponsored ‘Michael Jackson Energy Act’ will clear away a raft of environmental regulations that currently discourage construction of nuclear power plants, and will spark energy independence while reducing emissions of so-called greenhouse gases.

The 1,897-page Michael Jackson Energy bill includes more than a thousand pages of uninformed speculation about the cause of the performer’s death, gossip about the nature of his relationships with various adults and children, along with sweeping statements about his impact on the history of the world.

The bill includes a DVD tribute to Mr. Jackson, as well as dozens of before-and-after photos of his various bouts with cosmetic surgery. In addition, to a full-length foldout ‘Thriller’ poster, the bill contains several pages of language removing government-imposed barriers to the growth of a thriving private-sector nuclear energy industry.

“Although the substantive bipartisan opposition to the House cap-and-trade bill failed to capture the nation’s attention,” said Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-KY, “we’ve learned from our mistakes, and know how to present our alternative legislation in a way that will matter to the mainstream media.”


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: cap; jackson; trade
psst. satire.
1 posted on 06/29/2009 5:27:49 AM PDT by Servant of the Cross
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To: Servant of the Cross

good one!


2 posted on 06/29/2009 5:32:32 AM PDT by beagleone
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To: Servant of the Cross
more than a thousand pages of uninformed speculation about the cause of the performer’s death

The sad part is that this is actually TRUE of the real bill regarding the causes of global wanking warming.

3 posted on 06/29/2009 5:33:31 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Servant of the Cross

great satire but pathetically true about the mainstream media. They practically pee’d their pants over this MJ coverage.


4 posted on 06/29/2009 5:34:11 AM PDT by oust the louse (This Country now has a smelly BO problem.....)
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To: Servant of the Cross

Funny, though not one of his best.


5 posted on 06/29/2009 5:36:10 AM PDT by whitedog57
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To: Servant of the Cross

I love that and it was very true,. The state run media all over a dead guy, not what is going to destroy those who remain.


6 posted on 06/29/2009 5:40:50 AM PDT by wbones8765 ("Give me liberty or give me death")
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To: Servant of the Cross

unfortunately this is too close to the truth to be funny...

(ok no, it’s still pretty funny)


7 posted on 06/29/2009 5:44:18 AM PDT by Mr. K (physically unabel to proofreed (<---oops))
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To: Servant of the Cross

Sorry, I think you picked the WRONG TARGET!

THE U.S. SENATE INSTEAD SHOULD HONOR MICHAEL JACKSON
BY NAMING THE PEDOPHILE PROTECTION ACT AFTER HIM!


8 posted on 06/29/2009 6:09:47 AM PDT by Dawebman (WRONG TARGET!)
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To: Servant of the Cross

because it’s BAD...
so BAD!
It’s really, really BAD....


9 posted on 06/29/2009 6:26:05 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Servant of the Cross

scrapple face is funny to be sure -

but i’d like the republicans to offer an alternative plan for real.

drill now plus nukes all around.


10 posted on 06/29/2009 6:30:58 AM PDT by Principled (Get the capital back! NRST!)
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To: Principled

As the late Michael Jackson and Sir Elton John titled their new album, “Don’t let you sun go down on me”!


11 posted on 06/30/2009 10:38:48 AM PDT by safetysign
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