Hay, someones els on sinky shipz took cellfonz pic of Sidezber wen theyz ben parteeng, drinky, dancy...u knoz...sillyz stuff that rich kittehs dooz on fansie yahts an stuff. Just knoz that befour yaht wanted tuh get sinky...they emailz meh pic of drunkun silly Sidez...an wat i wanted to tellz efferyone hear iz...dont fell tooz badz boutz Sidez...Sidez went tooz bottum uf biggy waterz a happy kitteh. Restzezez en peas, Sidezber...we luff youz.
BRAKING!!! SERVEYER FOUND! Name an age unknownz...haz amneesa...duznt kno who he iz...justz now wershed up un beach an woked up...vagely rehmemberz kool kitteh namez "Sidez"...an parteh an fire an biggy wavez...duznt kno iff Sidez survivedz...not much halp, this kitteh.