I don’t think that people should be married just to be married. In some cases divorces are good.. If the parents keep on bickering and stay married, if there some emotional abuse, or realize there is a mistake and can’t work things out and don’t love each other anymore, well I guess a divorce is warranted..
Judith Wallerstein’s research, studying the children of divorce at 5 and 10 year intervals over a period of 25 years or more supports Dr. Laura’s position: except in cases of physical abuse, children are worse off if the parents divorce. Even if they are bickering, staying together for the sake of the chldren, as bad as the situation is, is still better than divorcing. You may not like this evidence, but Wallerstein started out on the other side, assuming that children are resiliant and bounce back and that it’s better to divorce than live bickering. She discovered to her surprise that the evidence is overwhelmingly to the contrary and, to her credit, she is a good enough scholar to admit she was wrong and accept the conclusion her evidence points toward.
She has numerous books, most of them coauthored with fellow researchers. Her work is supported by that of other researchers in the same field.
The damage to the children often does not emerge until they are young adults, dating, thinking about marriage. One cannot assume that because the children seem to be “handling it well,” that the divorce is not wreaking real damage on them. That’s Wallerstein’s conclusion.
“don’t love each other anymore”
A very selfish reason to divorce, especially when there are kids.
If you make a baby with someone, it is an 18 year commitment. Unless there is abuse, I always recommend people stick out the marriage for the sake of the kids, whether or not they are “in love”.
Kids do MUCH better in two parent homes (absent abuse).