I am happy for your family. And yeah I agree that divorce is hard on the kids. The fact is that when alcoholism,affairs, and being beat every day get tiresome for then is it okay for a divorce? You do not speak from personal experience at all so how in the world would you know whether or not divorce is horrible?
I agree with you. Divorce is hard on the kids, but what does it teach the kids for one spouse to stay with the other whose values are so eroded as to create huge hypocritical conflicts in the household? “I have a friend” whose ex- had a car accident due to being drunk, and she had to go clean out the totalled car. Found condoms, a handgun, brass knuckles, a couple other weapons.... among the junk in the car. Stayed with him a couple more years. Went for counseling. The ex- continued down a path of drinking, gambling, finding that socializing with the drinking crowd was more important to him than being a family and a father to the kids, who were 9 and 6. Thousands of dollars just disappeared. He did not manage to make it to the school events, teacher conferences, boy scouts, etc., due to his social life was more important. Surely there were affairs (motel charges on the credit card statements).
What would it teach the kids to STAY in this type of deal? He had no interest in “being a family” or being a father. “My friend” finally had to file for divorce after the 9 year-old told her that they had talked about “healthy families” in school that week, and he did not think theirs was a “healthy family”.
I don’t think it is right for people to put black-and-white rules on divorce situations, if they have not been there. Saying “only if there is violence” or “under no circumstances until the kids are grown” cannot always be the best road to drag the kids down, either.