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Dr. Laura : Staying Together for the Kids? Don’t!
Newsmax ^ | May 18,2009 | Dr. Laura Schelssinger

Posted on 06/15/2009 8:19:28 AM PDT by SeekAndFind

he first week of April had me visiting many of the major national television programs to talk about my new book, "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms."

One typical concern various interviewers shared was the problem of taking care of children at home by a parent when there’s been a divorce, which generally results in day care and a working custodial parent . . . usually the mother.

I respond by pointing out two concepts I believe are “truths.” One, that the quality of love and attention of a parent is superior to that of hired help (nanny, day-care worker, baby sitter), and two, that children have the best opportunity to grow up healthy, happy, and functional with a married mommy and daddy. That some people can’t or won’t provide those things doesn’t change their importance to a child.

I remember when my husband and I decided to become parents. I specifically asked: “Is there any reason you can see after all the years we’ve known each other that you might decide to divorce me? Because if there is even an ounce of ambivalence in either of us to this marital commitment, we shouldn’t have a child and risk the quality of their lives.”

My follow-up joke was, “I would not consider divorce. However, if you see me driving a trash truck right at you while my face is scowling —look out!”

Sadly, too many folks don’t consider these issues out loud before they marry and before they have children. When the stresses of life pile up, their individual or mutual inability to live by their vows evaporates.

Of course, the bond may be broken irrevocably when violence, addictions, and/or infidelities occur.

(Excerpt) Read more at newsmax.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: divorce; drlaura; manhater; marriage; savethemales; talkradio
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To: DesertRhino

“Flight training, law enforcement training, and business educuation, the nuclear power industry, NASA, etc, all disagree with you.”

Wrong. They teach what is right by people who have succeeded. The warnings given are from failures but by no means do they teach how to do things write by showing you how doing it wrong works.

Do you really think we are all idiots who have never attended nor lead a training class?? Stop listening to losers all the time and maybe your own life won’t be in such a sad shape that you think listening to Laura is a good means to a better life.


81 posted on 06/15/2009 10:17:16 AM PDT by CodeToad (If it weren't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable!)
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To: strider44

OK, so he can write a letter with the consumer warning. The cooler he keeps, the more likely he can keep the boys (and warn them about girls like that). As understandably angry as he is at the guy, it is probably she that is the main reason for the trysts, and the new guy is probably mostly a gullible sap he could try to feel sorry for. She sounds like a cougar on the hunt, she is bad news.


82 posted on 06/15/2009 10:23:32 AM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (In only 19 weeks, 0 has enabled us to agree with the Taliban [his empty speechifying] - Iron Munro)
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To: wolf24
Count on it. Too bad there was no mention of daycare, then we'd be looking at a potential record-breaker.....

Especially if the day care worker had sex with a minor while discussing a weight loss recipe with her favorite pet. And there were photos of her in a bikini.

83 posted on 06/15/2009 10:50:09 AM PDT by Jeff Chandler (The University of Notre Dame's motto: "Kill our unborn children? YES WE CAN!")
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To: CodeToad

Hey sport, my own life is *just fine*. Where you get the idea that mine is in “sad shape”? Thats pretty obnoxious of you. (that is, it’s not “sad” aside from me sometimes wasting time by responding to an opinionated idiot)

And you are very sadly wrong, as well as being a very rude person. And yes, many of us have sat in those classes. Namely, me. Those precise industries do detailed CASE STUDIES on failures, and try *very* hard to learn lessons from them as well as from success stories. The results of the case studies are then widely disseminated. (incidently, they often point you in the same direction)


84 posted on 06/15/2009 10:51:50 AM PDT by DesertRhino (Dogs earn the title of "man's best friend", Muslims hate dogs,,add that up.)
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To: CodeToad

I used to listen to her , but honestly cannot stand to even hear her voice any more. She cannot even manage her own life and gives lousy advice!!! The only Laura with good advice was Laura Ingalls Wilder!!!

Polly


85 posted on 06/15/2009 10:53:35 AM PDT by pollywog (Psalm 91:4 ...staying cuddled Under His Wings)
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To: NEMDF

Excellent example. And yeah I agree


86 posted on 06/15/2009 10:53:47 AM PDT by the long march
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To: HiTech RedNeck

Maybe, guess it’d depend on the daughter, her age, her general approach to life. I just saw a couple split and girl went with mom, boy went with dad. It was a pretty nasty fate for siblings.

Not 100% saying that daughter should stay with dad, just throwing out the possibility that it could be very positive. Too many people assume a daughter doesnt need a dad as much as mom. A lot of our societal problems trace back to the idea of chasing men out of childrens lives, including (sometimes especially) daughters.

Assuming of course, a good decent man. I guess in the end its always case by case.


87 posted on 06/15/2009 10:58:06 AM PDT by DesertRhino (Dogs earn the title of "man's best friend", Muslims hate dogs,,add that up.)
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Comment #88 Removed by Moderator

To: Retired Greyhound

Thanks you. She and I take little moments to be sad; the rest of our time is spent gearing up for a showdown. I’ll be travelling to her in three weeks and am gathering ammunition in the meantime. He won’t stand a chance with this “mother lion”.


89 posted on 06/15/2009 11:36:08 AM PDT by sarasota
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later..


90 posted on 06/15/2009 11:37:30 AM PDT by LadyPilgrim ((Lifted up was He to die; It is finished was His cry; Hallelujah what a Savior!!!!!! ))
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To: Morgana

You got that right about the callers. Can you imagine being that willing to air your darkest problems on the air?


91 posted on 06/15/2009 12:04:32 PM PDT by DesertRhino (Dogs earn the title of "man's best friend", Muslims hate dogs,,add that up.)
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To: Just another Joe
My mother gave me a great piece of advice when I got married. She said, "there will be times that you will want to leave or divorce, don't do it as those times pass" She was right, those times pass if 2 people are willing to work at their marriage...My husband and I worked at it...those times pass, but I would not stand in a marriage with violence or drugs....those are the 2 exceptions, but when I was a young woman, drugs were not as they are now..Violence in marriage was rare....I don't consider arguments as violence but the term "verbal abuse" makes some women think argument and disagreement is "verbal abuse"

Many would disagree, and do disagree thats why so many kids grow up in single parent homes..

92 posted on 06/15/2009 1:02:20 PM PDT by goat granny
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To: goat granny
Well, I don't have to worry about violence. I wouldn't think of it, and if I did, my wife has access to cast iron skillets and sharp objects [she just found out about ceramic knifes ;^)].

As for drugs, there are drugs and then there are DRUGS.
I know a couple personally that the wife pulled her husband from a life of drugs into a life in the church.

"Drugs" is a charged term.
A true addict will ignore everything and everyone looking for the next fix.
A recreational drug user is no more evil than the person who takes a drink in the evening.
While I don't agree that ALL drug use should be allowed, I do believe that the government has taken upon itself the role of nanny, and made illegal, drugs that shouldn't be.

93 posted on 06/15/2009 1:11:59 PM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: Just another Joe
Perhaps I worded it wrong, a drug addict is a more accurate term...Blessing to your friend that saved her husband from his addiction. Prayer can do wonders in getting some out of A miserable life..

I did get a LOL at your observation of your wife and a cast iron skillet......good woman.....;o])

94 posted on 06/15/2009 1:22:28 PM PDT by goat granny
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To: DesertRhino

I saw that criticism of Dr. Laura early on in the thread that you are responding to, and wondered if she had some new failure in her life that I had missed in the news cycle. So these people who find Dr. Laura unworthy of giving advice are referring to her youthful indiscretions? Really?

That is akin to a parent not being able to tell a child not to drink because the parent had made that mistake. WOW!

These must be the same people who gave us the debacle of the 2000 election because the dems dropped the Bush DWI story the weekend before?


95 posted on 06/15/2009 1:29:10 PM PDT by ican'tbelieveit (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team# 36120), KW:Folding)
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To: goat granny
I did get a LOL at your observation of your wife and a cast iron skillet......good woman.....;o])

My wife learned that from MY grandmother.

My grandmother told her the story about my grandmother and my uncle.
He went to Marine Basic and came home all puffed up about himself.
Grandma was standing at the stove cooking and he started giving her some lip.
She turned around and whacked him with the cast iron skillet she was using. Laid him out cold.

My wife turns to me and says, "Honey can we buy a cast iron skillet to take camping?"

Yep, that's my wife.

96 posted on 06/15/2009 1:32:01 PM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: autumnraine

In the 70s, my mother started taking a bunch of classes, then working part-time, then full-time, and having essentially a separate, secret life apart from our family. This was at a time when my brothers and I need more, not less, inolvement (high school). My own four teens clearly need me now more than when they were small, so I can see for myself what my priorities should be. My mom dumped my dad the day after my wedding, ruining many lives.


97 posted on 06/15/2009 1:33:40 PM PDT by Temple Drake (quem timebo?)
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To: Just another Joe

You lead an interesting life with an interesting family..no boring things going on in your household.....LOL again. The marines and army cannot teach the women in your family anything.


98 posted on 06/15/2009 2:25:28 PM PDT by goat granny
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To: goat granny
You lead an interesting life with an interesting family

That's on my Mom's side of the family.
Don't even get me started on Dad's side. :^)

99 posted on 06/15/2009 2:27:35 PM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: Just another Joe

I think “violence” is a charged word,too.

Often the word is used like leftists like to use the word “torture” when talking about terror suspscts.

By modern leftist’s standards, when my dad whipped my with a belt as a yute, I was “tortured” and coerced with “violence”.


100 posted on 06/15/2009 2:51:14 PM PDT by WOBBLY BOB (ACORN:American Corruption for Obama Right Now)
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