“If you have a group of friends, say 8 or 9, and one consistently never hosts a party, never brings anything to a party, never bakes, cooks, offers to clean-up...what happens?”
Socially, you are correct. This is the usual course of events. This behavior shows ingratitude, and we don’t like that. The LEAST you can do is express appreciation, help clean up.
But I have done things for people who can never pay me back, and more often, people have done things for me.
For instance, my friend runs a horse camp. We can not and probably will not, for many years, be able to send my kids to horse camp. Waaaay out of our budget. She invites my girls a few times a year, no charge, so they can enjoy themselves. What is my contribution? Sometimes I send them with some cinnamon rolls. We say thank you. That is about it. It’s all I can do. She is not being “paid” equal to what she is giving, not by a long shot.
And what does Jesus say?
“But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind. And you will be blessed because they cannot repay you; for you shall be repaid at the resurrection of the just.” Luke 14:13
It should come as no surprise that some of Rand’s values stand in direct opposition to the teachings of Christ. Her atheistic values come out. Not all of her ideas are objectionable. But she has no concept of grace.
In general I align more with you.
But watching an interview with Rand, it seems she has no objection to people giving to others *of their own free will*. I don’t think it comes through in AS, but her general way of expressing it is if you think of it as a sacrifice, it really isn’t freely given.
I personally get a lot of satisfaction from giving to others when I want to. But giving because some government official tells me to, or some United Way rep comes around to my cubicle and tries to shame me into giving, no thank you. They support things I would never freely give to, so instead I give to things I value: the BSA or cancer research for instance.
I have strict instructions that if there are any signs of a problem with an account I want to have the account on my desk pronto. Dodging or delaying appointments, late paying on an invoice, anything at all, I want to know. Right now, for a great number of accounts, I am billing light or not at all. I'm in a position that I can do this. I'm not desperate for the money. I wish things were better but they aren't. I am erasing one problem from the huge pile that my customers face.
If we do have a customer with a problem we take care of him anyway. I use any plausible excuse. I'll show up with a toolbox and tell them “Hey, I'm in the area and I've got time to kill, if you let me do it now, I won't have to bill you.” or “I've got a six pack in the car. Help me drink it and I'll do this while we're talkin'.” I will drop it in conversation that a lot of my accounts are in trouble and I really don't give a damn if a payment is late, short or not made at all. I'll handwrite across an invoice “Information only. Catch me when you can.”
Will they be grateful? In a word, no. I will lose most of these accounts. I know that. They will be uncomfortable around me. They will bolt at the first opportunity and blame it on me. Gratitude is not what I am after. I get my reward when the look of anxiety comes off a customer's face or when I see his family in Church on Sunday or his kids on the ball field on Saturday night. I am giving these guys a little more room to cope and that is what I am after. I am big enough to handle the detritus.
Is this counter to what Rand is saying? I don't think so. In a way it reinforces it. It makes some of my customers feel like moochers. Old friends will avert their eyes or avoid me. It will take years to reestablish bonds that I am breaking by my “charity”. The language, or at least my command of it, is inadequate to explain how the relationships have changed. At times like these I wish I had a few more IQ points to explain the contempt that I am generating. If I could explain it it might go to the contempt that the moochers in our society can have for the hands that feed them.