If you are ashamed of having mixed feelings, that's good, it will motivate you to find the courage to decide where you stand.
If you are ashamed of your position on abortion because of this murder, you are either a shill trying to undermine people's moral clarity by your faked-shame example, or... you're taking responsibility for an act that is not yours and which you have no right to own (unless you specifically advocated murdering abortionists), because... you are unable to see the clear difference between being: against abortion because you believe it is murder and those enacting it are murderers who will go to hell for murder but should be treated lawfully and that the laws should be changed... and... people who think abortionists should be murdered, which is entirely, completely different (but is the focus of the slanderous efforts of leftists across the country right now).
If you are a democrat shill, however, don't try to understand the distinction - you'll only hurt yourself, because democrats regularly invoke rabid hatred and calls for the murder of anyone who disagrees with anything they say, while claiming their only motive is peace.
No, unfortunately, I am feeling ashamed about feeling good about a late abortion doctor meeting his demise. I do NOT support those that would kill people over abortion.
You on the other hand seem to think that murder is okay under the right circumstances... Who makes the circumstances okay to do that? It is a problem that will never go away - if it is a personal decision (human choice), it is wrong by default. If it is what you think God would approve, it is also wrong by default (Got would never agree with killing anyone). So you are left with a major problem...