Having dealt with this issue as a mother, here is some advice to add to your deterrent factor, which works really well until they meet someone the can’t resist and all their friends are doing it.
The reason there is a problem with teenagers getting pregnant is not a lack of understanding. It is us trying to pretend they are still children at this age.
God designed us to come into sexual maturity in our teens. All major religions recognize the age of 13 as symbolic to entering adulthood. In every culture but our own, and in the last hundred years or less, girls and boys married off in their teens.
Now, we consider people too young to make good decisions, treat them like unknowing ignorant kids, and tell them to deny exactly how they were created to be. We expect nothing of them, and they are more than happy to oblige. We tell them they can’t know what love is, can’t possibly make a decision, and not to get serious until they are 30. This sends a confusing message to them.
The Virgin Mary gave birth at 15. That was Gods decision about age. Many will say it is incomparable, things were different then. Yes, they were. Today kids have more advantages, information, and knowledge than at any time in history. They would be more well equipped if we would stop expecting nothing from them and start teaching them morals, responsibility, and stop indulging them at every turn.
My oldest is about to be married. He will be 22 in July. His fiancee is 20. He wanted to marry sooner, but they have only been together now 1 year, so his courtship didn’t commence until he was 20. He has only had 2 girlfriends and both were too immature to handle his view of marriage, so they did not work out and he knew that relatively soon.
My middle son is going into seminary next fall. This is a moot point for him. He has not dated, as in our family dating is for locating a spouse, not a hobby. He does not plan to date, as he is sure of his calling, although he will attend prom with a friend next year.
My youngest is 15. He is not ready to find a spouse yet, therefore has not yet begun dating. He is not sure if he is called to religous life or married life so has opted not to date yet.
You cannot teach abstinence until you teach what dating is actually for. It is not a sport, a social outlet, or a right of passage. It is something to help you discern the married life.
PS. Our sex education took place at home using Theology of the Body, Humane Vitae, First comes Love (by Scott Hahn) Scripture, and a frank Q and A session. I opted them out of public school sex ed because they cannot teach the why’s of sex, only the how’s. Seperating them reduces sex to a hobby and removes the purpose from the act. Would we teach our children how to do drugs safely, just in case they could not control themselves and just HAD to do drugs? It seems a silly concept to me.
Great point and all-around great post. As far as I'm concerned, perpetual gov't schooling is the leading cause of perpetual immaturity.
Your post is great! A friend and I have discussed the fact that we baby our kids beyond what is rational. We have put a number on what is considered adult instead of teaching our kids how to be an adult.
That’s a good idea. I’ll have to mention this to my wife. Although we’re approaching our first anniversary, we’re trying to collect as much good advice as we can for that future time when we will have to dispense our wisdom to our children. :)
“Would we teach our children how to do drugs safely, just in case they could not control themselves and just HAD to do drugs? It seems a silly concept to me.”
I’d guess this is coming in BOs second term.
Today, you have to learn a lot more than how to herd goats. Ergo, the natural age of socially functional adulthood has gone up.