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To: Fiddlstix

I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high at $800 US per person double occupancy, but I didn’t find that offensive. Still having a hard time talking Lisa into going, but I’ve booked it anyway. Any interest in coming along?

What I found enticing is that the cruise company is encouraging people to bring their ‘high-powered weapons’ along on the cruise. If you don’t have weapons, you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3,200 per person double occupancy (4 days).

All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package:

* $800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4-day maximum billing)
* M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at $15.95
* Ak-47 riffle @ No charge ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at 1$4.95
* Barrett M-107 50 cal sniper riffle rental $55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $9.95

Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour (spotting scope included). They even offer RPG’s at $75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3 standard loads. “Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am.”

Meals are not included but seem reasonable.

Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs offer......... get this.....
“MOUNTED MINI-GUN AVAILABLE at $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire”

Sign my arse up!

They advertise group rates and corporate discounts.....and even claim “FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY”

They even offer a partial money back if not satisfied....here’s some text from the ad

“We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund back half your money including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included).. How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking?
We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention.
Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before Feb 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice”

As if all that isn’t enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials

“Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12-yr old son sank two rowboats with the mini-gun. PIRATES- 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English”
——Ned, Salt Lake city, Utah USA

“I haven’t had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don’t worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their shitty aim—reminds me of a drunken ‘juicer’ door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam”
——”chopper’ Dan, Toledo USA.

“Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by sharks—what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.
-—Zeke-Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA (P.S. We don’t take prisoners!)


51 posted on 05/02/2009 10:21:52 PM PDT by Brad’s Gramma (Life is but a big granola bar.)
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To: Brad's Gramma
ROTFL!!
Sounds like a really FUN cruise to me....
LOL
52 posted on 05/02/2009 10:35:07 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: Brad's Gramma

Link to site please.

Seriously, I discussed the same topic with my father.

He was, well like, sign me up.

An avid trap shooter. He would love to load 00 buck instead of nine shot.


56 posted on 05/02/2009 10:45:11 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar
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