Posted on 05/01/2009 9:53:36 PM PDT by smokingfrog
Dave Burge
Welcome to Iowahawk HARDFIRE! I'm your host Dave Burge. In today's edition of HARDFIRE!: Americans running terrified in the streets, wearing respirator masks, openly complaining about taxes -- coincidence, or deadly harbinger of a new age of national schizophrenic paranoia? Joining me to find answers are actress-activist Janeane Garofalo, spokesvirus for the Latino immigrant disease community Porco Influenza, and White House transportation czar Air Force One. Put on your asbestos groin cup and let's play HARDFIRE!
Theme Music
Dicka dicka doo, dicka dicka doo! POW POW POW! Shrrrrrredddd!
Dave Burge
In the 1970 Black Sabbath monster hit Paranoid, Ozzie Osborne sang "finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind. People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time." Heavy metal classic or Nostradamus-like prophecy for 2009 America? Air Force One! It's Go Time on Iowahawk HARDFIRE!
Air Force One
Well Dave, I'm going to have to say both. There's no denying that Tony Iommi's chunky lead and Geezer Butler's thundering bass set a lasting standard for headbanging power trios. But there's also no denying there's something very unsettling about today's body politic. Just the other day I decided to drop into lower Manhattan for a surprise low altitude fly-by photo op. I was expecting friendly smiles and waves, but instead that crowd in Battery Park started scurrying around like a herd of caribou underneath Sarah Palin's helicopter. I mean, what's up with that?
(Excerpt) Read more at iowahawk.typepad.com ...
I love Dave Burge but he has consistently ignored my increasingly frantic proposals of marriage and/or concupiscence. Hard to figure.
Are you stalking Dave Burge? Better watch your back. I hear is wife is the jealous type.
Outstanding.
I’ve been trying, but I think my approach is too subtle. Also, I don’t care about cars, so it’s probably hopeless. But if I could just get close to him at one of his rock concerts and he would wipe the sweat off his holy forehead with a handkerchief I threw at the stage, I’d consider my life complete.
Porco Influenza
At best, the administration has had a mixed record on immigrant virus issues. I'm happy that they've resisted efforts to close down the border, but just this morning Vice President Biden launched into a paranoid fear campaign against the viral community.Air Force One
Now hold on, Porco, you know the Vice President has a habit of misspeaking. I'm sure he did not mean what he said. You know as well as I do that the administration has been at the forefront of immigrant virus rights. In fact I personally helped airlift billions of your fellow germs out of Mexico just last week.Dave Burge
Janeane Garafalo! You're an expert on infectious diseases. What say you?Janeane Garofalo
Obviously we all need do what we can to help the struggling virus community, like supporting the virus sanctuary movement. I personally sponsor over twenty separate homeless germ shelters.Dave Burge
You mean your cold sores?Janeane Garofalo
Yes. But there's only so much we in the aging hipster skank community can accomplish with amateur body piercings and soap boycotts. We really need to attack the root cause of the American paranoia, which is Fox News.
**snicker**
OK, I had to look it up.
“I love Dave Burge but he has consistently ignored my increasingly frantic proposals of marriage and/or concupiscence. Hard to figure.”
He is still pining for Xenalyte. He likes chicks with large strap on swords.
......If you get my drift......
;-)
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