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A few years ago I was standing outside my office smoking a cigarette.

Two women were walking towards me as I puffed away.

As they approached, one of them (smoking nazi) said “ Do you know how many chemicals are in that ? “

I looked down at my cigarette...

Paused..

Looked back at her and said;

I’m suprised they’re not more expensive.

Got a great laugh out of her.

You're much nicer than me. I've had that happen a few times where 290 pound women would walk past me while I was reading my Crackberry and smoking a cigarette outside my office building waived their sausage like fingers in front of their face.

A few years ago I was standing outside my office smoking a cigarette. Two women were walking towards me as I puffed away. As they approached, one of them (smoking nazi) said “ Do you know how many chemicals are in that ? “

My answer to that is....not enough chemicals or alcohol to get any man to put up with you.

My response to the fat woman waiving her sausages in my direction to blow away the smoke was....

Me: What's the problem Madam?

Lard Ass: That smoke is annoying. (fanning her face with her hand)

Me: So is looking at your fat ass in that size 12 dress but you don't see me covering my eyes. I have manners.