Agreed, but the perception of how unfair the system is drives MUCH bad behavior.
I tend to think most of these men that kill their families during divorce/separation are already unstable. It’s not the unfair division of weekends or furniture that sets them off, it’s the fact that for once, they are no longer in control of the wives and kids. What do they say - a woman’s life is most in danger when she actually leaves her abuser? It’s not love, it’s not being enraged at the thought of seeing the kids on weekends, it’s about control, plain and simple. They no longer have it. “If I can’t have you/them, nobody’s going to...”