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Headlines for 2036
Crown: Croatian World Network ^ | December 10, 2002 | Prof. Dr. Zarko Dolinar

Posted on 03/22/2009 1:12:58 PM PDT by Ravnagora

NOTE: Published in 2002. Every bit as true today, only more so...

______________________

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.

Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 "Chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but Pres Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capital Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

_______________________


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: 2036; headlines

1 posted on 03/22/2009 1:12:59 PM PDT by Ravnagora
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To: Ravnagora

They forgot one headline........Blacks have higher degree of heart disease than other ethnic groups...


2 posted on 03/22/2009 1:16:50 PM PDT by shadeaud ("If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." -- George Carlin st)
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To: Ravnagora
"Republic of Idaho prospering amid devastation of former USA."

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

3 posted on 03/22/2009 1:17:59 PM PDT by wku man (Who says conservatives don't rock? Go to www.myspace.com/rockfromtheright)
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To: shadeaud

After recent surgery, Cher now looks like she’s about 17 years old (at least from a distance).


4 posted on 03/22/2009 1:21:25 PM PDT by Jack Wilson
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To: wku man

"Republic of Idaho prospering amid devastation of former USA."

This reminds me of the funniest billboard I've ever seen on my travels. It was in May of 2006, when I was out in the gorgeous Montana, Wymoming, Idaho area, and taking a drive on an Idaho highway.

There was an election going on...I think for governor, but I'm not sure.

The billboard said:

"Idaho for the Idahoans!!"

____________________

5 posted on 03/22/2009 1:22:20 PM PDT by Ravnagora
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To: Ravnagora
It's a doggone shame.

There's no where to go now that poop is prohibited!

6 posted on 03/22/2009 1:27:08 PM PDT by Young Werther (Julius Caesar (Quae Cum Ita Sunt. Since these things are so.))
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To: Ravnagora
Yep...we have too many Left Coasters who came here and remained Left Coasters. I'm a Southerner who became an Idahoan as well. Big difference between the two. We need more right-thinking conservatives to move here, and get their "dual citizenship", so to speak.

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

7 posted on 03/22/2009 1:27:08 PM PDT by wku man (Who says conservatives don't rock? Go to www.myspace.com/rockfromtheright)
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To: Ravnagora
This reminds me of the funniest billboard I've ever seen on my travels. It was in May of 2006, when I was out in the gorgeous Montana, Wymoming, Idaho area, and taking a drive on an Idaho highway.

I always like one on the highway south of Boise that read: "Sheepherders on the way to town have the right of way".

8 posted on 03/22/2009 1:42:46 PM PDT by Random Access
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To: wku man

“Last of the Democrats being hunted by bloodhounds in West Virginia”


9 posted on 03/22/2009 2:39:55 PM PDT by The Duke (I have met the enemy, and he is named 'Apathy'!)
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To: Ravnagora

Also:

Suicide centers now offering soylent green to next of kin: “Now you can really take Uncle Bob with you”

Bill introduced to force hospitals to stop home invasion medical crews harvesting organs from the citizenry

Get ready for April’s Powerhealth Lottery drawing - check tickets carefully to see if you are still covered

Soft drinks mandated to contain at least 10% ethanol; government ethanol subsidies to rise to 95%.


10 posted on 03/22/2009 3:19:30 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: Young Werther

Easy. Declare your dog to be a government-run sewage treatment facility. They dump billions of gallons of crap a year and never get fined.


11 posted on 03/22/2009 3:21:21 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: Jack Wilson

Cher celebrates 100th birthday with new 20-yr old boy toy...’he’s a little old for me, but who cares!’


12 posted on 03/22/2009 3:22:34 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: Ravnagora

Island of Los Angeles annexed by Atzlan military and peasant forces


13 posted on 03/22/2009 3:24:30 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: Secret Agent Man

Do you think I might get some bailout bucks?


14 posted on 03/22/2009 4:38:03 PM PDT by Young Werther (Julius Caesar (Quae Cum Ita Sunt. Since these things are so.))
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To: Young Werther

President Algore Jr Jr Jr of the Junk Science Extremist Liberal Socialist Party prepares proposal for 33rd National Bailout; Loaf of Bread now 1 million New Union dollars


15 posted on 03/22/2009 5:18:04 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: Random Access
Haven't seen that one. I'd like to check it out...where did you see it?

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

16 posted on 03/22/2009 8:02:40 PM PDT by wku man (Who says conservatives don't rock? Go to www.myspace.com/rockfromtheright)
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