> In my old age I prefer pyrotechnics.
LOL! Pyrotechnics is good fun!
Ever tried the Kiwi sobriety test? You can win bets with this!
You need a broomstick, three ping-pong balls, and some scotch tape. And a flat patch of grass...
Scotch tape the ping-pong balls around one end of the broomstick.
Then, to run the test, stand in the middle of the flat grass and grab the other end of the broomstick with both hands. Hold the broomstick up over your head, with your arms straight. Sorta like Luke Skywalker. Tilt your head back and stare up at the ping-pong balls...
Now spin round-and-round in a very tight circle — clock-wise or counter-clockwise, it doesn’t matter. As fast as you can manage. Try for seven times, tho’ the first couple times you might only manage three.
Whatever you do, keep your eyes firmly on the ping-pong balls. Do not look away, and keep your head tilted back...
One-two-three-four-five-six-seven. Then stop spinning and stand in place with your feet together.
Place the stick across the ground about 2 ft in front of you. Now, hop once, see if you can jump across the stick...
Best to do a dry run-thru, slowly and sober, first by way of practise so you get the hang of it.
and not in the midst of wild pigs