Doesn’t sound like the same Indonesia I worked in for a few months 15 years ago.
Opened and censored mail.
No more that 3 people getting together in a private residence (dorm room, apartment, etc.) without notice to the local police.
NO talking to the women.
Everything stops when raising or lowering the flag. (Just prior to my stay at the mining camp an Aussie and been beaten with rifle butts as he failed to stop his vehicle).
And on a lighter side - signs above the toilets requesting that they not stand on the seat and squat! (They were used to the hole in the floor/squat method). More ergonomic I suppose - but I still get to call it primitive.
Well I am glad to tell you that all those things have absolutely changed, nothing like what you experienced is now the norm in Indonesia I have never experienced any of that and I have been in Indonesia for five years. Sounds weird what you went through, where were you?