Posted on 02/14/2009 9:39:50 AM PST by Caleb1411
If the Tigers need a few million for a designated hitter or a closer, be sure to pass the Stimulus Request Generator along to them. This could be a parity-with-the-Yankees equalizer for smaller-market teams.
I got $3,000,000 to study the role of belly button lint in sexual reproduction.
As the democrats gets set to spend nearly $800 billion wet dream cpmes true sucks thumb.
Wow. I got just under $2 million for a program to displace lobster by scallops as Maine’s signature seaford and got Sue Collins booted as part of the deal.
She’ll apply to be a Capitol Hill lobbyist for the lobster fishermen, no doubt.
You may have lowballed your funding request. Nancy Pelosi’s salt marsh harvest mouse got $30 mil, and your project is certainly more vital to the nation’s well being than the mouse’s house is.
Not a problem. I will just ask for more (cost overruns, you know) in the 2010, 2011, 2012 stimulus bills.
You might want to do it sooner. If the 2009 stimulus bill wreaks its expected havoc on the economy, grownups may be in charge of Congress come January 2011.
HAHAHA!
including transfer of funds to Rus for the Rus Personal Economic Stimulus Program)
For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $45,000,000 shall be paid directly to Rus in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Rus to start a business or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Rus will receive free Buffalo Bills tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Rus shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Schumer is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.
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