“she was haunted by that image of Mum retching on the barbituates and had nightmares about it.”
Yeah, that was such a better way for your mom to go. No wonder you are having nightmares, girl!
REad on Progressive Supranuclear Palsy,,it was a better way to go, the thirty seconds of retching.
This woman was grown, her decision was hers and not mine or yours. She will face whatever she has to face after death. She was not coerced.