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To: SandRat

USS Bill Clinton
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck form a very menacing presence. As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs! An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere. The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense, but instead in times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada.
9 posted on 12/31/2008 3:50:33 PM PST by smokingfrog (I'll go green when they plant me in the ground.)
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To: smokingfrog

Oh, my God. The USS Bill Clinton. That is simply hilarious.


15 posted on 12/31/2008 3:55:18 PM PST by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all. -- Texas Eagle)
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To: smokingfrog

My guess is it will also sink on request of the enemy....


22 posted on 12/31/2008 4:19:25 PM PST by Born In America (Warning: Use liberals only under close conservative supervision.....)
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