I do feel for those who get picked up while sleeping off a drunk in their car in a bar's parking lot. There I think it's safe enough to assume, without some evidence to the contrary, that they drove there sober. IMO they should be left alone unless and until they are observed actually driving drunk. In Oregon, traffic laws generally don't apply on private property, but an exception was made for drunk driving specifically to allow this tactic.
Your story reminds me of something that really happened in the town of Reedsport Oregon maybe 30 years ago. A pair of yoots who had been drinking went on a beer run to the Circle K. On exiting with their fresh stock of brew they observed the local cop stationed on a speed trap nearby. Not wanting to get popped for drunk driving (one or both of them had priors), these guys decided their best option was to PUSH the car home rather than drive. The cop observed them pushing the car and allowed them to continue for some distance, finally deciding to make contact with them. During the encounter the guys truthfully explained why they were pushing the car. The wheel man (pushing on the driver's door and working the steering) was hauled in for DUI.
That case did go through a couple layers of appeal (I don't recall exactly how far), but the charge stuck all the way through.
None of those cases or the ones I mentioned are actually DUIs. There already laws to deal with the two particular ones you brought up. Open container, public intoxication, perhaps something about pushing a vehicle along a road too. Sure, not as severe as punishment as a DUI, but they would have prevented them from actually driving just the same.
But with the DUI laws now, the government has the ability to punish you for what could have happened, or as others say, for a thought crime.
They make no distiction between actually doing the crime, and could have done the crime. They don’t distiguish between a .08 and a .28 although in reality one is fairly harmless and the other is far beyond impaired. They don’t distiguish between a 4000lb car, a 400lb motorcycle, a wheelchair, a bicycle, or a lawnmower. The punishment is the same and very severe.
Put all these questionable DUIs together that have actually gotten a conviction, and you have a scenario where one could get a DUI for having three beers and pushing or leaning on a bicycle in your driveway.