[marsh2]

Points out the difference in sexes concerning the rapidity of “motor starting.” Women often have to fight their way through psychological and physical readiness to arousal. They may have a need for feeling emotionally secure and valued to get to that state. It is not selfishness, it is a fact of life and how many women function. Men who do not recognize this, are impatient, have no finesse or skill, can create exactly the opposite psychological mood and non-receptiveness.

For most of their pubescent lives, we tell daughters to wait for love. To expect to be romanced, cherished and valued. Not to get pregnant! Not to be a slut! Behave like a lady! Then men expect their wives to rev their motors at the drop of a hat and respond biologically and psychologically as they do. The more husbands have the patience to romance, cherish, show wives they are valued and loved, the easier and faster it becomes for women to relax phsycologically and respond.

[Scotswife]

great post!

And as I relate it to my own life?
I cannot think of one instance where I had to say to myself “oh geez - well I guess it’s my obligation”