When A Woman Isn't In The Mood: Part I (Dennis Prager On Why Sex Is So Important To A Man Alert)

Townhall.com ^ | 12/23/2008 | Dennis Prager

[Scotswife]

“Prager needs a female anatomy lesson and maybe he would get more from Mrs. Prager.”

Bingo!!!

[TalonDJ]

The wife who is dutifully “performing” just because a man needs to evacuate his prostate at regular intervals is the wife whose husband can’t understand what was wrong when she leaves him the day the youngest child leaves home. “But everything was just fine!”

Sure, but this article and discussion was about a necessary thing to keep the man happy. You just described a situation where the man was happy but the women was not. Certainly there are many other things to make the whole relationship good. 'Fixing' the one you described would not have been done by the woman turning down sex until she was in the mood. That would just have made them both miserable and ended it faster. It would have been 'fixed' by the man AND the woman being more attentive to her moods and addressing the issue.

[PapaBear3625]

I don’t think mood should be a frequent consideration, but I do believe it can be an honest consideration.

I get up early every morning to go to work, in order to provide for the needs of my wife and children. My "mood" has nothing to do with it. If I followed my "mood", then I would be home in the basement playing video games. Instead, I do what's necessary to provide for the happiness and well-being of those I love. It's not out of line to expect similar consideration in return.

[Scotswife]

“She needs to take responsibility for her own mood and work on it sometimes.”

I thought that was what I was saying.

[Tax-chick]

Since I didn’t make any of the points you’re bring up, I’ll just say, “Okay, whatever.”

[Wildbill22]

“And the point female freeps are making is that men don’t understand women as well as they think”.

Absolutely, as men are reminded on a daily basis in our culture, but your point is already well known, while men’s frustration is ignored, and even demeaned. That is what I see as the point of the article.
Neither sex has a monopoly on the subject.
I think talking about it is good though.

[TalonDJ]

What I’m arguing with is this notion that women should drop everything and “take one for the team” Where is the romance in that?

Well you are right that this is suboptimal. But taking the situation from the woman's perspective when he is being making advances... There are three options.
1)Say no: The article was all about this option
2)Take one for the team: Sure it is not optional, but is it BETTER than option one?
3)Work on her own mood and get where she needs to be and / or get him to slow down while she works on getting in the mood.

Clearly number three is optimal. Better still if she was already in the mood or he could get her in one... (but even that requires her attitude to be in the right place). But BOTh options 2 and 3 involve the basic premise of the story which is to not turn him down. And both 2 and 3 are better for the relationship than flat turning him down.

[Scotswife]

“but your point is already well known”

Is it?

Maybe you understand that, but Prager doesn’t seem to understand that.

alot of male freepers don’t seem to understand it.

These threads always seem to devolve into whining about cold heartless women.

[TalonDJ]

Just like before the marriage, women still like the attentiveness. The hair stroking, the sweetness, a kiss for no reason.

Sure, but no sense in waiting around for that to happen. Women can step up and occsionally kiss HIM for no reason. Maybe he is just too distracted by things to remember to do the little things. If she is just sitting waiting for him to fire her up and then getting offened if he wants sex without much forplay... That attitude is right along with what our society says these days. It is all the men's fault and nothing is ever her fault.

[Scotswife]

so I guess it comes down to - how often is she opting for choice #2?

Because if the answer is “too often” - then somebody hasn’t taken the time to understand how to get a female response going.

[TalonDJ]

If you have ANY talent in the sack, and you marry the right woman, she will WANT to make love most of the time.

That is precisely the attitude that society infuses men with and EXACTLY the thing that destroys their self confidence if their woman is not constantly in the mood.

[TalonDJ]

Since I didn’t make any of the points you’re bring up, I’ll just say, “Okay, whatever.”

Maybe I am talking to you and not debating you.

[TalonDJ]

Because if the answer is “too often” - then somebody hasn’t taken the time to understand how to get a female response going.

Or she is thinking her options are only 1 and 2 and she needs to be more open and communicate.

[Scotswife]

I don’t know any women who think they’re only options are only 1 and 2.
Not that they aren’t out there.

[Scotswife]

“Women can step up and occsionally kiss HIM for no reason.”

amen!

Do it all the time!

[HungarianGypsy]

I was just explaining how women work. It does go both ways. The way Prager writes is just as damaging to a relationship. How many times (not necessarily you) do guys not pay attention to the niceties and then jump on their wives at the end of the night, yet wondering why they aren’t turned on right away. As another poster said, it feels like being a blow up doll. When we go along with it because we feel we have to, then the man notices it. That’s more damaging than just saying “no” in the long run as the resentment on both sides grows.

[TalonDJ]

I don’t know any women who think they’re only options are only 1 and 2.

Maybe, but I have met gobs of married men that say they don't get much. I take that as evidence of a lot of option 1 and hence the article being right on target for our society.

[PfromHoGro]

What do eggs Benedict and oral sex have in common?

They’re two things you can’t get at home.

[Scotswife]

“Maybe, but I have met gobs of married men that say they don’t get much. I take that as evidence of a lot of option 1 and hence the article being right on target for our society”

Of course you would, you’re a guy.

A woman would look at that same fact and take it as evidence that marriage makes many men complacent about putting in the time necessary to develop a good response.

[Christian4Bush]

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