Perhaps I should give a little background, this may help you understand my rancor. A bit of personal history:
When I was a young teenager, I tried to commit suicide. A serious attempt, not a “cry for help”. I didn’t announce it, tell anyone then or later. My family was very - well, unloving, uncaring, parents extremely distant and unreachable. I was an agonized, miserable soul. I was raised without any religious teaching, belief or values.
Luckily I did not go over the edge into death, although I could have easily. After I had swallowed bottles and bottles of pills - all kinds, whatever I could find - I lay down to face death. I felt completely alone, unloved, with no home or stability.
Then I realized that death was a door which I was going to enter, and I did not know where it led. Fear overcame my decision to die, and I managed to make myself vomit up countless pills. It had taken maybe a half an hour to swallow them all.
I did suffer some reactions - for instance, I went deaf for a weak - but survived. I thank God that I did not die that day.
Many people may think “I want to end it all” but then have second thoughts - too late.
I thank God that you did not die that day. The world is a better place for you having been in it.
I’m so glad that your attempt was unsuccessful, FRiend. God was with you that day. :)
What a blessing to you and FR that you escaped the jaws of death that day!