Relying on charity is no longer the stigma it used to be, which is too bad because it stimulated some people to do everything they could to get off charity. Now people see it as a viable lifestyle choice. I remember reading about a family who decided to go cashless for a month, just to check it out. Part of their strategy was to visit food banks.
I knew another woman who moved herself and her son to another state in order to get higher welfare benefits.
Another family has avoided work for a couple of years now, relying on charity and “working the system”. The wife has been ill but rather than accept help from friends and congregation members, she insists her husband stay home with her and he hasn’t the you-know-what to be a man and tell her to gut it up and let him support the family.
About three years ago I worked with a family who regularly relied on charity. They were both high school dropouts, with six children age 12 and under. They believed they were entitled to live in a nice suburban home in an upscale neighborhood in California. As part of the program with my church in providing charity, I met with the wife to do food orders at our specialized food bank. We would plan a two-week menu based on the slightly-limited choices in the food bank. I was amazed at their wants for food. No cereal and soup and sandwiches for this crew. They wanted pancakes and bacon for breakfast, homemade enchiladas for lunch and a roast for dinner. This family of eight, with only three that were “adult-sized” wanted to order 68 pounds of meat alone. When the family finally had to leave their expensive rental home, we helped them move out. They had an incredible collection of toys for adults and kids, computers, guns, pets (not permitted by the landlord), ATV, nice barbecue, motorcycle, pool table, electronics. And they had trashed the house. I was embarrassed to be associated with them, and especially to have apparently enabled them. A year or so after they had moved out, I ran into them at the food pantry (which serves a lot of congregations in the region), still getting their twice-monthly groceries which probably cost at least $500 each time had it not been charity.
I think of all the damage done by the Sixties Generation, the welfare entitlement mentality will be its most lasting legacy. And now we see its progeny in the business bailout mentality.
It sounds like I belong to the same organization you do-—a wonderful church that generously helps its members in need. I agree with everything you said and am stunned and dismayed by people’s sense of entitlement, especially when members of our organization have been taught over and over again how important it is to be self-reliant.
A local leader of our church told my husband once that people don’t understand that such a program is meant to sustain a life, not a lifestyle. I thought that was very interesting.