The Long, Slow, Torturous Death of Zima (No more Zima "beer)

Slate ^ | November 26, 2008 | Brendan I. Koerner

[PJ-Comix]

There are a million ways to slight a rival's manhood, but to suggest that he enjoys Zima is one of the worst. Zima was the original "malternative"—a family of alcoholic beverages that eventually came to include such abominations as Smirnoff Ice and Bacardi Silver—and it has long been considered the very opposite of macho: a drink that fragile coeds swill while giving each other pedicures.

That stereotype has persisted despite the fact that Zima's brief heyday came nearly 15 years ago. The brand was then hailed as a marketing coup, an ingenious way to sell beer—or rather, a clear, beerlike solution—to consumers who eschewed traditional suds. But virtually overnight, Zima was done in by its medicinal taste and girly-man rep: After selling an astounding 1.3 million barrels in 1994, the year it went national, Zima's sales fell to just 403,000 barrels in 1996.

Many drinkers assume that Zima vanished shortly thereafter and has since existed solely as a punch line. But Zima actually survived for more than another decade, until MillerCoors pulled the plug on Oct. 10. Rarely has such a famously maligned product enjoyed such a lengthy run—a testament to its brewers' Madonna-like knack for reinvention. The Zima that died a quiet death last month bore little resemblance to the malternative that swept the nation during President Clinton's first term.

[Old Teufel Hunden]

"Interestingly, it can be argued that Budweiser isn’t technically beer to begin with, as it mostly derived from rice, not barley"

The three main ingredients to make up beer are water, grain and yeast. Hops was only introduced about 500 years ago in Europe so that was not always part of beer. Rice is a grain, so therefore budweiser can be considered a beer. You have heard of wheat beer I assume? Instead of having barley in it, it has wheat as the grain.

[Old Teufel Hunden]

I’ve had Magic Hat #9. It’s pretty good. I don’t believe we get Bear Republic Racer 5. I’ve never heard of it before. Of course, I’m always willing to try a new beer.. : )

[Freedom4US]

You’re referring to the “rheinheitsgebot” or beer purity law, of course, of 16 something.

Actually it stated that beer could only contain barley, hops, and water.

Yeast hadn’t been “discovered” yet, but was included later once it was isolated. Wheat beer got a pass, simply because it’s so danged good I’d wager. It still contains about 50 per cent barley, though. In fact I prefer it, mostly.

[Old Teufel Hunden]

"Yeast hadn’t been “discovered” yet, but was included later once it was isolated."

I don't know about any beer purity law. I'm a home brewer and therefore intimately familiar with what goes into and what makes up beer. For many years, Yeast was unknown to the Egyptians and Samarians who first brewed beer. However, they had wild yeast in their beer. By the time of the middle ages, yeast was known and used in the brew making process. Without yeast, there is no possibility of making alcoholic beer so it has to be part of the brewing process. Beer becomes alcoholic by the sugar from the grain product mixing with the yeast. This chemical reaction produces two bi products, CO2 and alcohol.

Again, to have beer, you have to have three main ingredients. Water, a grain and yeast. Of course, a lot of people would add hops (the bittering agent). However, that was only put in by Europeans during the middle ages. It is pretty much accepted by us that you need hops, but it is not essential for beer. The grain can be anything including barley, rice and wheat. The original beer made by Egyptians and Samarians used wheat.

[Freedom4US]

I’m surprised you hadn’t heard of it, if you’re a home brewer. Germany pretty much wrote the book on beer, a long time ago. One brewery that I like has been in continuous operation since the 1000s.

Hops are a necessary ingredient, because they act as a preservative and stabilizer.

[incredulous joe]

Memory Lane!

I'm 45 now.

The bakery that I mentioned in post 130 was the Seacrest Bakery on New Jersey Ave, between Aster and Cardinal. It was torn down years ago.

You sound as though you worked like me; doing everything. During the time that I packed donuts I also dipped ice cream at Duffer's Challenge, probably not real far from where you lived on Cresse. I actually used to dip ice cream 4 to 11:45 PM and then rode my bike to my job shipping donuts midnight to 8, though often we broke off before 7. Between this I surfed and played in a punk rock band on 2 or 3 or 4 hours of sleep. I did this 7 days a week between the second week of June to September. It was crazy!

So, I really did not party much during the summer.

While I did drink I NEVER actually did any drugs. I totally steered clear of them. Drinking at 16 was okay by my folks, but the other stuff (weed, ludes and speed) was not allowed and I followed their direction here. Go figure?

I know the Rainbow Room, but that was pretty much a summer party place. One of the fellows with whom we exchanged donuts for beer played there, I think. If you remember Cook E. Jarr and the Crumbs. We actually thought the fellow was a real true rock star and we rolled out the silver tray for him.

I can't remember the name for one of the places that I haunted. It was open year round and was known as the Penalty Box prior to being switched over to a New Wave Dance Club. I also didn't drink so much when I got into these places. I danced to DEVO and The B-52's, Talking Heads and Blondie retreads.



I remember Miss Kitty's, but again I pretty much only ventured in there during the winter months and mostly after I was of legal age. It was a very nice bar to be in on a cold winters night in Wildwood. Not really very raucus at all.

My mother actually helped to organize much of the Irish flavor which now saturates Anglesea. She was a real estate broker and used to smuggle the kids into rental quarters there. She helped them get work and make connections. Promising the owners that these nice boys and girls would behave themselves ~ for the most part they did! Mom also worked on the projects that brought protestant and Catholic kids to US to become acquainted with each other. I think Cape May is still known to this day as the unofficial 33rd county of Ireland and today is the 8th anniversary of her death, so drink a toast to her! We also did The Red Garter and Bishops/Anglesea Pub and the High Steps, as well as Cozy Morley's. Many of those places are gone today.

My band achieved minor fame at a punk club in Margate, just across from Lucy, The Ivory/Reds, and played a couple gigs there before we were summarily fired by the management, which was fine with me becaus they didn't really pay us.

My son is too law abiding to do anything on the sly. Maybe he'll loosen up like me when he gets to be a teen. My daughter I susspect may be some trouble (7).

[Old Teufel Hunden]

"Hops are a necessary ingredient, because they act as a preservative and stabilizer."

Preservatives yes, the original India Pale Ale (not the one here in America but made in Britian) was made especially hoppy for it to survive the long voyage from Britian to India to be delivered to British troops who wanted to enjoy the taste of some brew.

I don't know what you mean by stabilizer. However, the other function of hopps is as a bittering agent. It's what gives beer it's bite. From what I've read, before the introduction of hopps to beer, beer tasted a lot like wine.

[Twink]

Memory Lane for sure ;) I talked to a friend today and because of this posting exchange we chatted about those times, the Rainbow Room in Wildwood, all our shore exploits. Sometimes it’s really fun to recall those days.

NJ ave, etc. I remember that area but don’t recall the bakery. And the Purple Flower Shop, known as Wagon Wheel Florist...my aunt’s house was right next door. NJ Ave and Cresse. We always just called it the Purple Flower Shop because it was purple. They had a buggy or carriage in their parking lot and we used to play on it when we were kids. Duffer’s Challenge. Is that still there? Do I recall those days and nights, lol. As I got older, Duffer’s had the BEST EVER french toast! And that little train that went around the room, lol. Did you have to wear those awful uniforms? Victorian, if I recall correctly. We used to hang out there before the boardwalk and later, before “clubbing.” Sometimes we played the games. ‘We most certainly saw each other there. You probably served me ice cream, lol.

Yep, I got the benefits of the shore but always worked, too. The best part, for me, was working nights and spending days on the beach getting a tan and body surfing. And sleeping a lot on the beach :)

I wasn’t into the drugs scene either. But I have to lol at your statement about ludes. They were the “it” drug back then. I always wondered why anyone would take ludes. Relaxation and sleep was never a problem for me. Can’t stop laughing about you saying “ludes” - blast from the past again :)

Yep, so same here. Drinking beer, my Dad had a beer fridge in the basement, was ok. Dago Red Wine was ok at dinner. That was actually the first time I ever drank alcohol. I will never forget the first Christmas Eve I drank it. I think I was in 8th grade. One glass and I was asleep for hours. A few of my cousins and I were out cold after one glass. We slept until it was time to go to Midnight Mass.

Ah, the Rainbow Room. I don’t remember Cook E. Jar and the Crumbs. I do remember, and discussed today with my life long friend from birth, how we used my fake ID to get her, me and another friend in. Memorial Weekend. I went in first. Then met Tina at the back door and gave her my fake ID. She came in next about 15 minutes later. Then we met Tracy at the back door and she used it to get in. AT the end of the night, the bouncer was hilarious, commenting on how we all had the same name and that there was no way I was 26. I commented that he let me in and he said my fake ID was perfect other than the fact that I didn’t look 26.

I remember the Penalty Box from when I was too young to get in there. You could see it from the Boardwalk.

Do you remember the Stardust? Disco/dance club? I think it was called the Stardust. Huge place. Last call was at 4:30am. Wildwood bars closed at 5 and Margate Bars had last call at 2am or so. I think the Stardust was on Schellenger Ave (sp) or something. There was another one, maybe called the Hurricane? And another one I can’t remember the name of...Gosh there’s a few I can’t remember the names of.

Miss Kitty’s had strong security/bouncers. The only reason I got in (and my friends) was because the owner was the brother of my cousin’s husband. Not sure if I could or should post their family name here so I’ll just say, prominent name in Wildwood...they owned Miss Kitty’s and a few other places, Construction Company and Realtor and Builder. It was a fun place.

We, as a family, always went down there for VFW weekend and Fireman’s weekend. June and September. Stayed at the motel across the street from the Pan American. That hotel had the rolling ball/earth atop their sign. Can’t recall the name of the motel we stayed at though at the moment. I don’t think it is there anymore.

Love that Irish Weekend Shirt. My oldest brother still goes to every Irish Weekend. He’s in the Pipes and Drums (Camden County Pipes and Drums). I have vids. I’ll send you the link. He’s always trying to get us to go, maybe we will eventually. It just happens to be during sports season (although now every season is sports season in our house).

“My mother actually helped to organize much of the Irish flavor which now saturates Anglesea. She was a real estate broker and used to smuggle the kids into rental quarters there. She helped them get work and make connections. Promising the owners that these nice boys and girls would behave themselves ~ for the most part they did! Mom also worked on the projects that brought protestant and Catholic kids to US to become acquainted with each other. I think Cape May is still known to this day as the unofficial 33rd county of Ireland and today is the 8th anniversary of her death, so drink a toast to her!”

Damn right. :) I think Cape May County IS another Ireland County. I will definitely drink a toast to your Mom :) God Bless her for all she did. One of my childhood friends, who I met down the shore (Margate), and we still keep in touch 3+ decades later, lives still in Ireland. Northern Ireland. I have family, Dad’s side, in Ireland, North and South but mostly Southern now.

Have you read Trinity? Interesting book. It’s been a long time since I read it but thinking of re-reading it again.

The Red Garter. LMAO. Last time I was there was at least 20 yrs ago. Is it still there? That was a fun place. Never been to Cozy Morley’s but my parents used to go there every summer 30+ yrs ago. The Red Garter was fun. I remember being there as kid and the last time as an adult. We were in Margate, at an aunt’s house, bunch of family, and all decided to go to the Red Garter, Some were in Wildwood, too. What a night!

That’s so cool you were in a band (do I sound like a teenager? But seriously, that is so cool even as an adult). I don’t recall The Ivory/Reds in Margate. Just Maynard’s, Maloney’s, and of course the Greenhouse. My Dad and uncle used to take us to the Greenhouse all the time when we were kids. We’d walk on the beach, to the Greenhouse, by Lucy, they’d get beer and we’d get soda and food. Then, sometime during my teen years, and they had a patio by then, we’d go to just drink, hang out.

There was also a snack stand right across from it. Washington Ave and the Beach? Lucy, Snack stand, Greenhouse.

I worked in Margate as a waitress at the Crab House. It used to be across the street from Maynard’s Bar. Right on the bay. Then it moved farther down and became a bigger restaurant. Not sure if it is still there.

I waitressed while at Penn State too and became a barmaid. Tips were great, especially during football season when Alumni were in town. College students had no money but were decent tippers. Alums were awesome tippers.

Since you were in a local band, did you know the Dead End Kids? They used to play locally in South Jersey. The Hollywood especially from my memory. The Hollywood was a local South Jersey club. Hollywood Bowl maybe? My cousin was the drummer. He was also the drummer for Surrender Dorothy. Also auditioned over in England for some known band I can’t recall at the moment (I will find the name tomorrow, lol since it will kill me until I do).

I’m sure both your kids will be fine. But I get what you’re saying. I worry more about my two youngest (my teens are fine, which sorta freaked me out for a while).

It’s a different time than what I (we) grew up in...it’s become a nanny state atmosphere (among other things) and that worries me. The next 4-8 years are gonna suck! Lock and Load ;)

[RGPII]

Thx. for the reply my Irish Friend!

[incredulous joe]

H’kup!

Yer welcome.

It’s been a delicious thread with a round, full-bodied flavor and a smooth finish.

[neb52]

Had Zima in High School (10th-11th grade). For some reason it was easier to get. Don’t know why and as teenager you drank what you got your grubby hands on. LOL! Even at that I think we only bought a few six packs. Due to money we usually had Busch Beer and Sky Vodka. Don’t get me started on Miller High Life.

[neb52]

“I always thought Zima tasted like Alka Seltzer”

My first taste, I thought 7-UP gone bad.

[neb52]

“Is Pearl still being produced down your way ?”

Pearl like Lonestar is owned by PBR and like most other of PBR’s portfolio of brands is contracted out to Miller to brew. Pearl and Lonestar are made at the South Fort Worth Miller Brewery. The most stinking section of I-35 to drive by. LOL!

[neb52]

PBR doesn’t brew their portfolio of beers, they farm it all out Millers and other big breweries. Lonestar and Pearls, which PBR own, are brewed by Miller in Fort Worth.

[neb52]

Carta Blanca! Good pale Mexican beer. I hear it is still dirt cheap on the Mexican side of the Texas border.