How drunk do you have to be to soil your shoes?
Apparently it has become a problem of such significance that it requires Government intervention to alleviate it.
It seems to involve a level of chronic inebriation that I am wholly unfamiliar with.
Drunk enough that you might also shake entirely too much salt on your fish and chips using a 15-hole shaker, a public health situation which has already been solved at public expense by the Home Office.
One could in fact become drunk enough to be taken to bed by someone who in the morning might be found to be undesirable. I am awaiting the public solution for that one. Perhaps they can hand out desirable partners to inebriated women in flip slops. No more salt for you. Is that a pocketknife? I think I'll report you as being obese.