The Peter Pan Myth: The Real Reason Men Won’t Settle Down

Pajamas Media ^ | November 19, 2008 | Michael Weiss

[AJKauf]

Just how popular is Kay Hymowitz’s City Journal essay, “Love in the Time of Darwinism,” which decries the phenomenon of marriage-avoiding man-children? So popular that it was sent to me by no less than three different friends today (all males) and it’s been featured on two different traffic engines this week: Arts & Letters Daily and Real Clear Politics.

Her brief is actually a mild apology for a previous essay in which she reprehended the jaded and loveless men of my generation for, as she puts it here, “whiling away their leisure hours with South Park reruns, marathon sessions of World of Warcraft, and Maxim lists of the ten best movie fart scenes” instead of humming Cole Porter tunes and throwing their jackets over puddles in the street for their intendeds. Courtship is dead, and mankind may well be facing extinction given how many men refuse to grow up, get hitched, and start procreating. What happened to Cary Grant? He turned into Seth Rogen.

The question isn't "Why aren't more men getting married before age 30?" It's "Why are any?" ....

[Citizen Blade]

Try finding a sub 30 woman worth marrying in an urban setting.

I had my pick of dateable and marryable young women in NYC and DC. I never had trouble finding smart, attractive, educated young women to date.

Maybe the problem is with the men doing the complaining?

[Citizen Blade]

You guys have never quite grasped that all of this is a two way street. After reading the comments here and at the PJM site it is no wonder that I have absolutely no desire in seeking a relationship again. Listen to yourselves, you are just as childish, selfish and self centered as the women you are berating-it truly is "all about you".

A lot of bitter guys here, but of course their dating problems are not their faults. *Shrugs* A lot of people have issues with self-awareness.

Most of my friends in my age group are married (I'm 32) and in the process of having kids. And this is in DC, with a politically mixed group of young professionals. The only people who aren't married, whether male or female, are the ones who have either decided to stay single, or who have serious personality flaws.

[Lizavetta]

They cannot take an overbearing fat hog of a female with a nonstop mouth directing their life.

Yes, most women gain weight as they age.

As do most men. Almost every man I know in their 40s and older, both married and divorced, are a good 30+ pounds fatter than when they were young.

[JamesP81]

The only people who aren't married, whether male or female, are the ones who have either decided to stay single, or who have serious personality flaws.

Well then, Dr Phil, why don't you tell me what my major personality flaw is?

[Citizen Blade]

Well then, Dr Phil, why don't you tell me what my major personality flaw is?

You're too sarcastic and snippy?

[JamesP81]

You're too sarcastic and snippy?

Better that than an armchair shrink. IMO.

[Ted Grant]

I think that’s basically it. Even if a man has more mature diversions than video games, it’s relatively easy for a man with his act together to get sex with attractive women without being held to any serious standards or consequences, and without having to hold up their end of a mature relationship.

Frankly, it’s easy for a man even if he doesn’t have his act together.

[Citizen Blade]

Better that than an armchair shrink. IMO.

All seriousness, I don't know you and have no idea why you aren't married.

I can just speak as to my friends who aren't married- one is heavily overweight and is terrible at personal hygiene, so it's not surprising he can't find a woman. Another has a drinking problem. One of the unmarried women is way too picky- she seems to have an unending list of requirements for any man she meets.

It doesn't take a shrink to figure out why people like that are alone.

[HamiltonJay]

You found women to date. Dating and marrying are 2 completely different things. There are pleanty out there to date, few that are self absorbed and worth marrying.

Marriage and dating are 2 completely requirements.

[Citizen Blade]

You found women to date. Dating and marrying are 2 completely different things.

No, they're not. The way you meet someone to marry is to get out there and meet as many women as you can. Sure, most of them will not be "the one," but the only way to find the right person for you is to get out there and meet and date as many as possible. Heck, I met my wife at a bar.

There are pleanty out there to date, few that are self absorbed and worth marrying.

I get the sense that you might be sabotaging yourself with this attitude. If you go out into the dating world with this perspective, you are doing yourself a disservice.

[texmexis best]

When I started, I counted the number of shots in the 10 ring. Now I count the number of shots outside the 10 ring. The gun is still shooting better than I am but I hope that will change this year.

I use the Lee classic loader and couldn’t be more pleased with it. Every load is identical. EAch load is the same load I shot last year.

[Centurion2000]

Very good points.

[Centurion2000]

That was the coolest video I think I have ever seen :)

[Hoffer Rand]

The bible is full of good standards.

Unless you're an overly cocky teen, suggesting to your dad that he read Eph. 6:4. I just about got killed..

[KamperKen]

That is sad because I have three daughters I want to get good son in laws with."

You will get good sons in law since your daughters have had you as a role model as husband and father.

[sauropod]

home

[mad_as_he$$]

Really? I am talking about women who gained 30 pounds the first year of marriage. I am over 50 and have been married over 25 years. I weigh exactly what I did as a linebacker my Senior year in High School

[mad_as_he$$]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwSoYhJ9NkE

[mad_as_he$$]

Perfect!

[OneWingedShark]

Try these:
The Money Hole
Voting Machines
Obama Win Results