Posted on 10/26/2008 2:07:50 PM PDT by firehat
2008: BARACK OBAMA:
COUNTDOWN TO COMMUNISM
by Norman Liebmann
PROJECTIONS
The Obama Administration would promise a return to "the good ol' days." (If the 'thirties ever came back we'll be all set. A reasonable conclusion to be drawn is that Obama is not a messiah, he’s a meshuggeh.)
Since Acorn performed its Get Out the Vote Chicanery, it became apparent there are almost as many illegal voters registered in Ohio as there are Nazis registered in Argentina. It's time to get the Acorns to climb back into their trees.
Under an Obama Administration the Bureau of Census would keep track of the names people of hue settle on (after road-testing all the other politically correct designations for their race) before they get back to the name they liked least. They would also keep count of people named Hussein who hate America, which is a big job considering how many Muslims are born to hate. Torture, murder and contempt for women were not enough for the Saudis to have built their culture. They also needed oil to keep it going. (Among the Census Bureau's other heavy responsibilities, the Bureau's nose-counters keep track of the Hispanic population which is increasing by 29%. To paraphrase the late Richard Pryor, some Espaňols are doing some serious copulating.)
The rabid support for Barack Obama proves there is a force at work stronger than common sense. After the dirty campaign he's run, Obana might consider using a manhole cover for his Presidential Seal.
The Supreme Court should have an usher standing by with a cattle prod to wake Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg when her term is over. (This withered semi-comatose hag doesn’t have Alzheimer’s Disease, but it's gaining on her.)
If the election is a disaster in which the House of Representatives, The Senate, The White House and the Supreme Court gang up on us, say goodbye to the Ten Commandments and the Second Amendment.
After Michelle Obama would take her first walk through the White House Rose Garden even the thorns would die.
America has five carrier groups bobbing in the Persian Gulf. In an Obama Adminstration they would never hear the one word for which they were trained – Launch!
Here's a solution for our overcrowded prisons. Forget about rehabilitation. Give the inmates hacksaws and ladders and they won't even hang around for lunch.
With the election of Barack Obama, the United States would become a Third World and possibly a Fourth.
The American Dream would become a United Nations nightmare. The Security Council would likely be called The Minority Council.
John Kerry, the lantern-jawed imbecile, will try to outdo his last idiocy by "reporting for duty" in a gondola.
Washington D.C. could be renamed Uganda-on-the-Potomac.
Obama’s Inaugural Address would end with a personal plea to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - “Please don’t throw me in dat dere briar patch”.
Joe Biden, the Dork from Delaware, will definitely come up with a stupid answer if someone is stupid enough to ask him a question.
Barack Obama and Bill Clinton can argue about who is really the first black President, but which ever one it is, it is hoped he will be the last.
If Barack Obama becomes President, he will reward the thousands of members of Acorn by giving them jobs in the White House counting his hate mail. He will probably break George Bush’s record.
Jimmy Carter covertly advising the Obama Administration would be like watching a turtle trying to master the backstroke. (How is it America barfed up the poison of Jimmy Carter but managed to hold it down with Bill Clinton?)
The Obama Administration would provoke the American people's first attempt to overthrow the minority.
Obama says he will change the world. The last person to promise that was Adolph Hitler. It appears the Obama Administration would be an exercise in civilization nullification.
The political debate of recent years is whether Clintonism is a virus, a genetic defect, or just a dirty trick Arkansas played on the rest of the nation. (For a campaign contribution, Bubba would probably have supplied the Japanese with maps for another air strike on Pearl Harbor.)
Obama’s "spread the wealth policy" will turn America into a nation of idlers. All a worker bee would have to do is sting a Democrat and it would turn into a drone and go on Welfare .
The office of Secretary of State will be redesignated as the Secretary of Groveling in which diplomacy becomes synonymous with surrender.
Obama's socialism is a new virus that would neutralize initiative, self-reliance and promote Chicago politics.
The Alfred E. Smith Dinner proved that Mike Huckabee could be of a breed of polticians that don't need writers.
Boxer and Feinstein would not persuade anyone to change their religion, their sex, or their vote.
Alan Greenspan has owned up to his part in making mistakes that contributed to America's financial meltdown. (Confession may be good for the soul but it won't do much to improve his looks.)
The liberals who have been bleeding this country dry decided they can get even more blood from a stone if the President is black.
To save time Barack Obama’s Inauguration Ceremony and Impeachment Proceedings would be conducted simultaneously.
Every library in America will have a Swahili/Ebonics Dictionary.
If I remember the Sherwood Forest Stimulus Package correctly, Robin Hood did not rob from the rich and give to the minorites.)
Colin Powell says he would have trouble with two more Republicans in the Supreme Court. I would have more trouble with Barack Obama appointing Powell Commander-in-Chief of the Campfire Girls.
Colin Powell’s wife talked her husband out of running for President based on the fear that he might be assassinated. Is his Hillary Clinton’s endorsement of Obama based on his fear that he won’t be assassinated?
A suggested sampler for the wall in Joe Biden’s office would be "Happiness is always having to say oops”.
HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD
Alec Baldwin’s appearance on Saturday Night Live demonstrated that he is about as humorous as watching an orphanage burn down. They should change the name of that show from Saturay Night Live to Saturday Night Low. That’s where all the cheap shots go to miss their targets.
Jon Stewart told Sarah Palin “F--k you”. He finally came up with a line without the help of his writers.
Historical question for Whoopi: If the slaves were always in chains, how did they scratch themselves?
It should have been apparent that George Bush cannot be humiliated. Lord knows that bigger talents than Oliver Stone have tried.
MEDIA
Nobody has yet explained the paradox of how the media can keep losing its readers and viewers without losing its political clout. The media’s appreciation of itself is a remarkable example of misplaced affection. The indications are that NBC stands for "Nothing But Crap".
In gratitude for its Liberal tilt, Obama would raze the Washington Monument and replaced it with a slanted obelisk and call it The Leaning Tower of Media.
The media' fertilizes its garden with a mulch of lies.
Along those lines, there is panic in Media City. After the job they did on Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber, the media's bucket of slime is down a quart. People who continue to subscribe to the New York Times have learned to read between the lies.
"Elite" is a word the media uses for people that have managed to situate themselves out of the reach of those better than them.
The media reports that Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama has nothing to do with race, cotton or watermelon. Powell's denial of the racial element is either thermonuclear hypocrisy or just plain b------t. You’ve got to remember Powell has spent his entire career somewhere between wishy and washy. , fighting off an inner need to be neutral. One must remember that Powell comes from Jamaica where they practice voodoo and think they're playing Mozart on empty oil drums.
After a recent survey, the press listed John McCain as Undecided. They are afraid there is still a fifty-fifty chance that McCain will vote for himself.
It's reported that, in a luxury hotel in which the Obamas were staying, Michelle Obama went out of control ordering up steamed lobsters, caviar and champage. The hotel didn’t have it on the menu so Room Service had to send out for the chitlins. Apparently, the Obama family eats out a lot because everything prepared in Michelle Obama’s kitchen tastes like it was sautéed in Bactine.
Obama's corruption only deepens the media’s affection for him.
OBAMA'S PLANNED APPOINTMENTS
Here is a projected list of an Obama Administration. (No comparable aggregation of grotesque figures has been seen since Tod Browning’s movie “Freaks”. The conclusion to be drawn is, one never knows what will happen when chromosmes copulate.):
Ben Bernanke - Secretary of Finance (His function will be to pound sunshine up people's asses about the economy.)
Rodney King - Secretary of Can We Get Along
Barney Frank - Secretary of Below-the-Belt Immorality (There is a rumor that Barney Frank and Elton John are Siamese twins joined at the crotch.)
Charles Schumer - Secretary of Getting on Camera
Colin Powell - Secretary of Non-ethnic Politcal Endorsements and Following the Yellow Brick Road
Chris Dodd - Secretary of World Class Greed (His reputation tracks him everywhere.)
Dianne Feinstein - Secretary of Jowls (She has more wattles than a Thanksgiving turkey.)
Dan Rather - Secretary of Make It Up As You Go Along
Sean P. Diddy - Secretary of Sissy Names
Michael Jackson - Ambassador to Boys Town (It's said he donated a billion dollars to the Obama campaign to secure the appointment.)
Teddy Kennedy - Secretary of Blotto (It is rumored that a bottle washed up on shore at Hyannisport. It's contents have remained a mystery because Teddy Kennedy drank the message.)
Hillary Clinton - Secretary of Tax and Spend and Tax and Spend and Tax and Spend (ad infinitum.)
Bill Clinton - Secretary of Sperm (Bubba would bring along former Clinton Administration sherpas who still stand ready to carry Bubba’s political baggage to the top of Mount Everest if necessary.)
David Letterman - Secretary of Grimacing (Making unfunny faces has become the full extent of his wit. He is working on an impression of Harry Reid getting his testicles caught in a paper shredder.)
Barbara Walters - Secretary of Geriatrics (Walters is still trying to grow young gracefully.)
O.J. Simpson - Secretary of Los Angeles Jury Selection
Jesse Jackson - Secretary of Mumbling
Louis Farrakhan - Head of the Bureau of the Census (He keeps count of people named Hussein who are born to hate. His followers are a sect of fastidious Muslims who wear bowties to a riot. (Irrespective of who wins the Presidential election, Farrakhan will find a reason to break windows and make the neighborhood look like Lebanon.)
Henry Paulson - Secretary of Bailouts and Financial Hernias
Barbara Boxer - Secretary of Fangs and Claws
Senator Patrick Leahy - Secretary of Allergies (His primary concern could be protecting gays who are overcome by camphor fumes while still in Vermont Closets.)
San Francisco's Mayor Gavin Newsom - Secretary of Same Sex Hugs and Kisses (Same-sex marriage has now made San Francisco officially Babylon-by-the Bay. Transsexuals could have as much trouble deciding who to vote for as they do deciding whether the lid of a toilet seat should be up or down - even when in use.)
Al Gore - Secretary of the End of the World (The spread of nuclear technology to rogue nations suggests that Armageddon is not coming fast enough. Al has volunteered to get off the planet and push.)
Jay Rockefeller - Secretary of Energy in Charge of Dry Holes and Keeping Off-Shore Oil to a Trickle (Rockefellar will cause the worst energy crisis since Senator Robert Byrd's wedding night.)
Snoop Doggy Dog - Secretary of Hip Hop, High Fives, Wearing Baseball Caps Backwards, Corn Row Hair-dos, and Whatever
Bill Richardson - Secretary of Transportation. (His principal function will be distributing forged drivers licenses to Illegal Aliens.)
Charles Rangel - Secretary of Slums (considering his experience owning houses in Harlem Rangel is the default choice.)
Nancy Pelosi - Madam of the Cathouse of Representatives
Al Sharpton - Secretary of Demographics (He will designate which minority group can do no wrong.)
Georgetown Doyen Sally Quinn - Secretary of Hors d'oeurves
Former Fanny Mae Goniff Franklin Raines - Secretary of Take the Money and Run
Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaigarosa - Secretary of No Habla Ingles
Bill Ayres - Secretary of Go BOOM!
Bernie Sanders - Secretary of Leisure Activities (Appointed for showing The Democrats how to have great success catching fish by using Welfare checks as bait.)
Maxine Waters - Secretary of Inner City Communism
Chris Matthews - Press Secretary in Charge of InfoCrap (If Obama gives Matthews a thrill up his leg Boy George would probably give him speed bumps up the kazoo.)
And this ...
Democracy used to work. Let's hope it will again.
***
We are here to help you!!!!!!.......Let’ start with your 401K’s......................................
No. Republicanism worked. Democracy has always failed. America's Founding Fathers knew that, and chose a Republic over a Democracy.
One of the few political writers who liked Democracy was Karl Marx. Yeah, that guy. Marx correctly stated that he liked Democracy because it is only one step away from Totalitarianism.
Think Chavez. Think Putin.
The Democratization of the US has gotten us to where we are now.
Bring back Republicanism, or add Obama’s name to the list of Democratically-elected dictators.
LOLOL
> “Democracy used to work. Let’s hope it will again.”
> No. Republicanism worked. Democracy has always failed. America’s Founding Fathers knew that, and chose a Republic over a Democracy.
> One of the few political writers who liked Democracy was Karl Marx. Yeah, that guy. Marx correctly stated that he liked Democracy because it is only one step away from Totalitarianism.
“Democracy is the road to socialism.” Karl Marx
You totally rock. TOTALLY.
GIVE ‘EM HELL!
A vanity that actually makes sense has been posted on FR.
Thanks Norm.
there goes the neighborhood....
Well, you know the hidden meaning in his usual O seal: the American flag rests ON THE GROUND. The RISING ‘O’ steps on it, rising above with the new BLUE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC.
Ayers must have designed the flag-on-the-ground logo, and none of us have pointed this out.
Sh-t
I enjoy the vanities....there is a little bit of good in all of them. This one is the best I’ve read; from the title to the end.
Have you seen chicagogop.com?
Chinese medicine.
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