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Translation:

My running mate and campaign have suggested there is something worrisome in my opponent’s past and intentions. Personally, I find this unbelievable and offensive. The truth is, Obama is a decent, mainstream candidate. Hell, if anyone’s scary, I’m the one. If you’re scared of what Obama might do with your taxes, or with your national security, you’re a gullible rube at best and racist at worse. Frankly, you’re embarrassing me in front of my media friends, so I’m gong to lecture all of you like the wiser, grandfatherly, non-scary figure I am.

Honestly, I can’t remember why I’m even running for president with such a decent and accomplished alternative on the Democratic side. It’s just something I do from time time, I guess. In fact, as of today, I am suspending my campaign so I can concentrate on averting the bloodshed my bitter religion-and-gun-clinging supporters are about to unleash through their fear and anger.

I especially regret my choice of the very scary Sarah Palin, who will be locked in the head of the Straight Talk Express until the day after election day. I mean the Fluffy Bunny Happy Talk Express.

Here’s what we need until Nov 4th.

Palin to fill in in debate 3 due to illness of McCain.

All McCain Palin ‘08 live events to be held by Palin Alone.

McCain to appear and wave to crowds, but no speaking role.

Revised campaign stickers with McCain in very reduced font

Translation: My running mate and campaign have suggested there is something worrisome in my opponent’s past and intentions. Personally, I find this unbelievable and offensive. The truth is, Obama is a decent, mainstream candidate. Hell, if anyone’s scary, I’m the one. If you’re scared of what Obama might do with your taxes, or with your national security, you’re a gullible rube at best and racist at worse. Frankly, you’re embarrassing me in front of my media friends, so I’m gong to lecture all of you like the wiser, grandfatherly, non-scary figure I am.

Honestly, I can’t remember why I’m even running for president with such a decent and accomplished alternative on the Democratic side. It’s just something I do from time time, I guess. In fact, as of today, I am suspending my campaign so I can concentrate on averting the bloodshed my bitter religion-and-gun-clinging supporters are about to unleash through their fear and anger. I especially regret my choice of the very scary Sarah Palin, who will be locked in the head of the Straight Talk Express until the day after election day. I mean the Fluffy Bunny Happy Talk Express

LOL...sad but so true.