[MARTIAL MONK]

I just threw myself out the window. Landed on the dog. He's pissed.

I need a two story house.

[Lazamataz]

I just threw myself out the window. Landed on the dog. He's pissed. I need a two story house.

You should try a more definite solution:

Shoot yourself with a SuperSoaker, or hang yourself with a string of Silly Putty, or jump from a bridge card game.