Did you read my posts?
I agree with you and trisham that the process of reconciliation for post-abortive women cannot in any way "fudge" the gravity of the sin or their responsibility for it. One has not repented of sin if one has not taken responsibility for sinning.
And I agree with you. The truth is everyone that has weighed in on this (including myself) would probably find ourselves in total agreement if found ourselves face to face so we could quickly hash out the fine points.
I just have a real point of emhpasis of showing mercy for those that have sinned and come to realization they have done something wrong, yet don't know what to do about it becuase the either don't know God, or don't know how to forgive themselves even if they have been forgiven by God.